A letter from Jack
by Bavaria78
Summary: Why did Jack really leave to hunt Kovac down? The story tells about the difficult time MacGyver had had, while Jack was gone as well as his return. If you are a fan of James, you won't probably like the story. Jack whump included. I don't own any of the characters.
1. Chapter 1

AN:

This story is a sequel to _**Partner for a reason,**_ but you don't have to read it first to get it. I have to admit, I've only watched a few episodes with Desi, so I probably haven't got her character right. I apologize for it, although she doesn't make much of an appearance.

I'm still no medic and still no native English speaker, damn. So, sorry for all the mistaktes, they are mine. I don't own any of the characters, so please don't sue.

Chapter 1

_**Present time**_

„He is dying. I'm so sorry Mac, but his injuries are too severe, he lost so much blood. It's a miracle he survived as long as he did, but now his body is shutting down. Jack won't make it through the night." Doc Ward said with a broken voice and Macs world collapsed.

_**4 months prior**_

„Hand me another beer, Wilhelma."

„Jack! I promise, if you call me that one more time, your next steak will have castor oil as secret ingredient." Bozer threatened and Jack paled. „You wouldn't do that Boze, would you?"

„Try me," Wilt was deadly serious. Jack gulped. „But you were so cute as Wilhelma, the nurse."

„I'm paid not nearly enough to have to endure to go undercover as a fat nurse." Bozer complained and shot a sour look to Matty.

„Well at least you didn't have to play the sick patient," Mac shuddered at the thought, he hated hospitals.

Matty smiled. „You are the only one who is pale enough to pass as a sick man." Mac pouted.

Jack spoke up. „Let's stop complaining and celebrate. That's one of the few missions, that actually was a piece of cake."

The Delta was right. Infiltrating a hospital to get hold of a drug lord could have gone wrong in many ways, but for once everything went smoothly.

„You're just saying that, because you were allowed to play a doctor." Mac couldn't help himself.

„Yup and I earned it square and fair, considering how often I had to patch you up and sew you back together." Jack bragged. „Dr. Dalton, that has a ring to it, hasn't it?"

Matty rolled her eyes and said. „We will never hear the end of it. Next time I'm gonna make sure you get an embarrassing cover, to take you down a notch." She threatened, but wasn't able to keep a affectionate smile of her face. She looked at Mac and he nodded, knowing exactly what his boss was thinking. It was good to have the team back together. A few months prior, they almost lost Jack. Oversight had sent him on a mission where he suffered a severe concussion. After that James had forced him into going out in the field again and again. This lasted for almost a week, the rest of the team including Matty were away on different tasks, so there was nobody around to stop this insanity. The result was that Jack ended up passed out in some parking lot. The concussion had gotten worse and resulted in swelling in his brain.

Jack had been in critical condition, the threat of a brain surgery had been hanging over them like a dark cloud. He was lucky and the swelling got down without surgery. Jack recovered from his ordeal, but it was slow and painful. It took him nearly two months until he was back out in the field. The Delta still suffered from headaches and occasional bouts of migraine. He tried to hide the fact from his friends and was successful most of the time, but Mac was aware of the fact, that Jack was in pain, he didn't know about the migraines though. The blond agent still felt guilty, that it was his own father who had caused his partner to suffer so much. The whole incident put a lot of strain on the unstable relationship Mac had with his Dad. Only in the last few weeks, they seemed to be more at ease in each others company. Mac was torn, he wanted to be accepted by his father, but he still didn't know what he meant to James. A son should love his Dad, but the blond wasn't sure if he would be able to develop this kind of feeling. Another thing he felt guilty about. Normally he would talk to Jack about it and seek the advice from his brother, but he didn't want to throw Jack into the mess.

The banter continued for a while until the rest of the team left, leaving only Mac and Jack sitting on the deck of Macs house.

The Delta leaned back and sighed in contentment. Mac watched him and raised and eyebrow at the sound. „These are the moments I love the most. Everybody safe and sound, gathered around the firepit." Jack explained.

Mac nodded. „You're right. There are so many missions, that go sideways we have to be grateful for the few ones that actually go right."

Jack rose and he swayed slightly. „Huh, I guess I had a few beers too many. Mind if I crash on the couch, or should I grab an Uber?"

Mac waved. „The couch is yours as always Jack."

Jacks phone beeped and he checked the message. „What the fuck?" He exclaimed and paled.

„Jack, what is it?" Mac asked immediately concerned at his friends reaction.

The Delta showed him his phone, there was a picture of a man on it. „Who's that, someone you know?"

„Yeah, someone I killed a decade ago." Jack said with a dark expression.

„What?" Mac asked confused.

„He was a terrorist, his name is Tiberius Kovac, accountable for thousands of deaths. He was a monster. I was with the CIA at the time. I got the order to take him out and that is what I did." Jacks voice was void of emotion. „At least I thought I did." He added silently.

„Why should anyone send you an old picture of a dead terrorist?" Mac wondered.

„I don't know man, but this picture … he looks older somehow." Jack frowned.

„Let it check from the techs at Phoenix," Mac yawned. „You ok bud?"

Jack nodded. „I'm good man. I think I'll stay out here a bit longer, if you don't mind."

Mac stood up and laid a hand on his partners shoulder. „Try to get some rest bro. Good night Jack."

„Good night, Mac." He settled back into one of the deck chairs and looked out at the dark town, but not really seeing it. Jack felt the now familiar headache beginning to surface. He rubbed his temples and closed his eyes. Sleep was hard to come and he finally nodded off, when the sun was already peeking over the horizon.

Mac was surprised when he stepped out on the deck and found his partner snoring in the chair. Although the blond hadn't made a sound, the slight sqeeking of one of the floor boards was enough to wake Jack up. He shot out of the chair and pulled his gun. A sure sign how tense he was, even asleep.

„Whoa, easy Jack," Mac made a step back with raised hands and Jack lowered his gun immediately. „Sorry Mac, I didn't meant to …" He trailed off.

„It's ok bud. Did you sleep out here all night?" Mac asked astounded.

Jack stretched and a series of pops answered the blonds question. „Kinda fell asleep out here." He admitted. The Delta rolled his neck and another loud crack made Mac cringe. „Will you stop that? It really pains me to hear this. Coffee?"

Jack nodded, he grabbed some of his spare clothes, he kept at Macs place and headed to the bath room. Half an hour later they were on their way to Phoenix. The drive was silent and Mac watched his partner with worry. Jack looked like hell, he clearly hadn't slept much and he could make out the lines of pain around the Deltas eyes, that were only visible when he suffered from one of his headaches.

There was no mission that day, so Mac went to join Bozer in the lab. Jack was about to head to the gym, when he got a message. Oversight ordered him to his office. „Great, just what I need today," he mumbled and stepped into the elevator.

The Delta took a deep breath and knocked on the door. „Come in."

James MacGyver sat at his desk and leaned back in his chair, when Jack entered the office. He motioned for Jack to sit down. The Delta watched him suspiciously. He didn't like Oversight one bit and since the incident a few months ago that feeling bordered on hate. Matty practically had James banned from the war room and so there were only a few occasions when Jack had to deal with the older MacGyver. He waited patiently for his boss to speak. James shoved a picture over to Jack.

He picked it up. „Tiberius Kovac. So the message yesterday was from you." The Delta wasn't surprised. „What's up with him? I killed him ten years ago."

„You didn't apparently. You failed." James was clearly enjoying accusing Jack. „This picture is a week old and it's real. Kovac isn't dead, he's gained more power than ever. He must be stopped. As it is your fault, that he's still alive I thought you'd like to clean away that stain on your record."

„Why aren't we briefed in the war room by Matty?" Jack asked suspiciously.

„This isn't a mission, that requires the Phoenix team. It's a mission for a group of experienced soldiers like you."

Jack raised an eyebrow. „So, that's where we stand? Trying to send me out alone again? That didn't work out last time for you, did it? Mac didn't speak to you for months."

„This is not about me or you, Dalton. It's about the worlds most dangerous terrorist. This isn't a scenario, where you can wiggle out your way with duct tape and paperclips. This is about weapons and killing. Do you think my son would fit in such a situation?" James countered.

Jack had to admit, James had a point there. He knew that Mac was a capable agent, but he also knew Kovac. But Jack had learned his lesson. Oversight would try and goad him into going after Kovac. Pulling the strings, like he had done with Jack before. Hunting for Kovac would mean leaving Mac behind. Probably for a long time, because the last time it took him years to bring that bastard down. Jack couldn't do that to Mac, in spite of the fact that he wanted to kill Kovac himself so bad. His brother had been abandoned too often in his life and Jack had promised a long time ago, that he wouldn't leave him.

He shook his head. „No," he simply said.

James looked surprised. „What?"

„I said NO. I won't go after Kovac. There are so many good men, who can stop him for good. I won't leave Mac. I promised him and I won't brake my promise. There'll always be another terrorist or a bad guy to be taken down. I've served my country with everything I had and I still do. I'm willing to risk my life for my team on any given day. Hell, I'd die for them. But I will NOT go on the hunt for Kovac. Are we done?" Jack stood up.

„I'm not sure what this is Dalton. Simply cowardness or lack of a sense of honor?" James snarled.

Jack laughed. „Nice try. You need to improve your skills on manipulating me James." Jack shook his head and left. Once he was outside the office he had to lean against the wall. The smile had died the moment he turned away from James. Jack closed his eyes and tried to get his shit together. Oversight was right in one point. Kovac was alive and it was Jacks fault. How many innocent people had this monster killed in all these years? Humans that could still be alive, if Jack had done his job right.

The Delta barrelled into the next bath room and threw up violently. After he was done he flushed the toilet and walked over to the sink. „Great job Dalton." He spat at his image in the mirror, he washed his face and decided to hit the gym, the need to punch something was overwhelming. Jack rubbed at his neck to ease the pounding.

Two hours later Jack was beyond exhausted. He had punched the living daylights out of the bag. Jack had imagined hitting Kovac and James by turns. He stumbled into the locker room and sank down on the bench. His head hurt so bad and he could feel a migraine creeping up his spine. The familiar nausea was already there. Jack rummaged through his bag and realised that the prescribed migraine pills were at his apartment. Great! Exactly what he needed. Jack rested his head in his hands and tried to take deep breaths to keep the pain at bay. He didn't notice someone entering the room. A hand on his shoulder startled him. He looked up, squinting his eyes and started to sway when the dizziness hit him full force.

„Hey easy Jack. Are you ok?" Mac steadied his friend. He could immediately tell something was wrong with his partner, his quick mind registered Jacks obvious symptoms: headache, dizziness, light sensitivity.

„Migraine?" He asked and Jack only nodded and closed his eyes. „Ok, let's get you home big guy." Mac grabbed Jacks arm and pulled him up. The Delta slumped against his partner and the blond steadied him until he had found his legs. The pair slowly made their way out to the parking lot. Mac helped Jack into the passenger seat of the GTO and drove to Jacks apartment.

The Delta fought his way up the stairs with Macs help. Grunts of pain, hard breathing and clutching Macs arm tightly showed the blond that Jack was nearing a collapse.

„We're almost there buddy. Just hang on a bit longer," Mac encouraged and unlocked the door. He led Jack to his bedroom, but suddenly his partner pulled away from him and stumbled into the bathroom where he threw up. Mac had a wet cloth and a glas of water ready when he was done and Jack accepted it gratefully. The blond helped his friend to his bedroom and got him undressed and into the bed. Jack closed his eyes, when his head hit the pillow. Mac closed the curtains and the room was almost dark. He left the room and rummaged through Jacks medicine cabinet and found what he was looking for. Mac grabbed a bottle of water and an empty bowl and returned to the bedroom.

He sat down beside the bed and shook Jacks shoulder. „Jack, come on. You need to take your meds."

„How did you know?" Jack wanted to know.

„About your migraine?"

Jack nodded.

„I didn't know, but I was aware that you were suffering from headaches. You tried to hide it, but I know you for too long to be fooled by you." That elicited a small smile from Jack. „You had a headache this morning and after finding you in such a sorry state in the locker room I put two and two together."

„Smart aleck," Jack said but took the meds from Macs outstretched hand. „How often?" The blond wanted to know.

„Just once or twice a month," Jack shrugged.

„So, at least three times," concluded Mac and shook his head suddenly annoyed. „Why didn't you say something, let me help you?"

„Took you long ´nough to let go of the guilt, you felt over the whole crap. Didn't wan´ you t go down tha´ road ´gain." Jacks words got more slurred with every moment and his eyes closed.

„Dumbass," Mac whispered and laid a wet cloth on Jacks forehead. He settled back into the chair and watched over his brother. Jack was right. It took Mac long to let got of the guilt he felt over Jacks injury. Although he knew it wasn't his fault, he couldn't help himself. Mac couldn't change the past, but he could be here for his brother now.

By evening Jack awoke and felt much better. Mac helped him into the shower and went to the kitchen to prepare some food. Jack entered the living room and made his way slowly over to the couch, where he sank down with a sigh. Mac joined him and handed him a bowl of soup.

Jack made a face, but took the bowl and started to eat. After a few spoons he sat it back on the table. „Sorry, but I don't think I can keep it down." Mac nodded. „How do you feel?" He wasn't able to keep the concern out of his voice.

„Better, just a normal headache now, but my stomach is still queasy." He took a sip of water.

„Why did you work out today? You already had a headache when we drove to Phoenix this morning." Mac wanted to know.

Jack didn't want to tell Mac about his conversation with Oversight, but he hadn't the energy to lie. „I needed to let of some steam."

„Kovac?" Mac assumed.

„The picture is real. I messed up." Jack admitted.

„Do you want to go after him again?"

Jack shook his head. „No, it took me years last time to get him, and it would mean to leave you. That's not an option."

Mac was surprised and opened his mouth, but Jack stopped him. „No Mac. I don't want to talk about it. Please, I … I can't deal with it now. I just want to sleep." He felt like an asshole for playing the sick card, but he had no idea how to explain the situation to Mac without mentioning the conversation he had with James. And to be honest, he still felt like shit.

The blond agreed. „Just rest Jack. I'm gonna crash on the couch."

Please review!


	2. Chapter 2

AN:

Hey guys, thanks a lot for reviewing, favouriting and following the story.

This was a tough one to write. The first time I had to shed a few tears while writing a story. Let me know if you fared better than I did ;-)

Chapter 2

The next morning Jack was back to his old self, well physically at least. He tried to shake off the thought of Tiberius Kovac.

Mac and Jack were joking when they walked into the war room. Matty and the rest of the team were already there.

„What have we got boss? Let me guess …" Jack started, but was cut short by a glare of Matty.

„Steven Chandler, a small fish in organized crime in Houston, but he stumbled over something big going on and he wants to get out. He offered all the intel he's got, if we protect him. So, Mac and Jack you're wheels up in twenty. Get Chandler and the intel and come back. Riley you're supporting them from here. Bozer you can got to the lab, this is only a two man job.

Everybody nodded and left the room. On the way to the jet, Jack laid his arm around Macs shoulder. „Here we are hoss, like in the old times. Just the two of us against the baddies."

Mac smiled. „Yeah, but I could do without the baddies. I just hope there aren't any surprises."

The mission turned out to be a milk run. They were back in the war room and almost through their mission debrief by late afternoon, when Jacks phone rang. Matty shot him an annoyed look, but Jack ignored it and took the call. Not many people had this number and so it had to be important.

„Yeah, this is Jack." He listened to the caller and sank down onto the couch, paling visibly.

„What? How bad?" Everyone knew that something serious was going on. „I'm on my way, call me as soon as you got some news," he ended the call and ran a shaky hand over his face.

Mac was the first to ask. „Jack, what is it? Your family?"

Jack nodded. „It's my sister Sally. She had an accident with her car. She's in surgery, we don't know how bad it is. I need to go." He looked at Matty, who waved him out of the room. „Take the jet. Go and make sure she's ok Jack. Mac you go with him. We don't want him to do something stupid. Let us know, how she is, ok?"

„Thanks Boss. I owe you one." Jack gave Matty a quick hug, which clearly surprised her and left the room with Mac in tow.

A few hours later Jack was running into a hospital in Texas. It didn't take them long to find the room, where his sister was staying. Before entering Jack slowed down and took a deep breath to steel himself for what he would find. Carefully they pushed open the door and entered the room.

Beside the bed Sallys husband Samuel sat and held her hand. The other side was occupied by Jacks mother. There was an IV line but luckily nothing else attached to Sally.

„How is she?" The Delta whispered anxiously. Jacks mother rose and pulled him into a hug. „I'm so glad you're here Jack. Sally was lucky, she has a concussion and a broken leg. They had to put in some screws to fix it, but she's gonna be ok, the doctors said."

Jack sighed in relief, but the sight of his sister in a hospital bed still shocked him. He laid a hand on the shoulder of his brother-in-law. „What happened?"

Samuel looked up, hate in his eyes. „She dropped Jack jr. off at school and on her way back home another driver ignored a red light and crashed into her car. That asshole hit and ran. He didn't even check if she was alive."

„What? Did the police get him?" Jack clenched his fists. „I'm gonna kill that bastard for this."

Jacks Mum spoke up. „No, they didn't find him and you won't do anything stupid, that lands you in jail Jack Wyatt Dalton, is that understood?"

Jack nodded and said meekly. „Yeah Mum, but he needs to be brought to justice. I'll see to it."

Mac stood by and had to smile. Rose Dalton was a small woman with a fierce personality. One short remark of her reduced Jack to a little school boy again.

Movement from the bed caught all their attention. Sally opened her eyes and looked around the room clearly confused. „Hey sweetheart, how do you feel? You were in a car crash, you're at the hospital now." Samuel explained.

Sally nodded, then he saw Jack and her face broke into a wide smile. „If that's what it takes to get a visit from my big brother, it was almost worth it."

Jack stepped forward to the bed and gave her a kiss on her temple. „You gave us quite a scare cookie. How are you feeling?"

„Like I've been in a car crash," she deadpanned. Jack smiled. „You know, you just could have asked me to visit, you didn't have to be so dramatic and pull a stunt like that."

„Well, it worked didn't it."

Mac stood in the background and watched the banter between Jack and his family. He couldn't help but feel a bit jealous. That was what family meant to be, not the strained stiff connection he had with his father. No, he scolded himself. He had a family. Whenever he was the one in a hospital bed, Jack wouldn't move an inch and Riley, Bozer, Leanna and often Matty were there. The only difference was that they weren't related by blood. Mac was once more grateful, that despite Jack had a great family himself, he still found a place in his heart for Mac and the Phoenix family. The Delta literally had a heart as great as Texas.

Rose and Samuel had left their chairs and greeted Mac with a hug. „It's good to see you again Mac, but I wished it had been under other circumstances." Samuel said and looked more relaxed than minutes before.

Rose patted him on the face and said. „You're still too skinny Mac. Does Jack push you too hard? You need to come out to the ranch soon, it has been too long since you two visited." The older woman said with a warm smile and Mac answered.

„We're pretty busy most of the time. But I think we're overdue for a vacation. I'd love to come to the ranch. I've probably forgotten how to ride a horse." The Dalton ranch was a place like heaven to Mac. The Daltons were a hard working family with a strong bond. They ran the ranch with passion and Jack and Mac had often spent some time there to recuperate from their injuries.

„It would make for a nice change, if you didn't show up half dead," Rose teased. They didn't know what kind of work Jack and Mac did and they had learned a long time ago not to ask about details.

„We'll try Rose." Mac promised. Jack moved away from the bed and motioned for Mac to follow him out of the room.

„Can you believe it? Crashing into a girl and hightailing it, without checking on her?" Jack fumed. He pulled out his phone and called Riley.

After he gave her an update on Sallys condition, he asked for help. „Riles, I need you to find some footage of the crash. It was at a stoplight, so you should be able to get the plates of that guy."

„Already on it." The hacker ended the call and the Phoenix agents waited outside Sallys hospital room. Jack paced and ran a hand through his hair. „The only good thing is that Jack jr. wasn't in the car, I can't imagine what could have …" He trailed off.

Mac put a hand on his shoulder. „Stop it Jack. You have to be grateful, that Sallys not injured any worse. She's gonna be ok. I know it sucks, but you can't change it."

„Thanks Mac, for coming with me."

„I would have come, even if Matty didn't tell me to. They mean a lot to me too Jack." Mac confessed.

Jack phone rang and he answered the call immediately. „Yeah, what have you found Ri?"

„It's strange. It was a black SUV, but the plates were faked. The footage of the drivers face is also a dead end. He wore a hoodie pulled into his face and sunglasses. The police found a burned out car two hours after the accident. A SUV the same model as was involved in the crash. We've got absolutely nothing. I'm sorry Jack."

„Thanks Riley," Jack ended the call and frowned. „What the hell is going on here, Mac?"

„I have no idea. My guess would be, the guy had comitted a crime. The fake plates point to that. After he got in the crash, he had to hightail it and get rid of the car. It was just bad luck for Sally, she was in the wrong place at the wrong time."

Jack sighed. „You're probably right. This spy business makes me already see ghosts."

The Phoenix agents went back to LA the next day. Sally was released from the hospital and already driving her husband nuts. Jack clearly wasn't the only impatient family member when laid up.

Jack was running drills with some TAC team members, when he got a message that ordered him to Oversight. He had pushed the thought of Kovac to the back of his mind. Sallys accident reminded him, that his families both in Texas and here in LA were the most important things in his life.

„What is it, boss?" Jack made the word boss almost sound like an insult.

„Sit down Dalton. We have some unfinished business. The hunt for Kovac starts, the best guys from different agencies signed up for it, but they still need a guy to run the show. Someone who knows Kovac. Most of the guys from the last time are dead or retired, so that leaves only you as an option."

„No. I told you last time and I'm telling you now. I won't do it. No way, I'm gonna leave Mac behind and there is no way I would take him with me on that mission. You'll have to find another guy. I can brief him on everything I know about Kovac, no problem, but I won't go after him."

James leaned back in his chair. „That's what I assumed you would say. So I … how did you name it? Oh yeah, I improved my manipulating skills. How's your sister doing? Is she getting along with the crutches? Would be a shame, if she had another accident, wouldn't it? And how's Jack jr.? I've heard he comes after his uncle and is doing great at football? It would really pain me, to see him with a broken leg or worse? Accidents happen all the time Jack, people are dying because of them." James said with a smug expression on his face.

„You son of a bitch. I'm gonna kill you for that." Jack was out of his chair and pulled James over the desk in one swift move. He slammed his boss into the wall and drove a iron fist into his nose. The ugly sound of a broken bone was accompanied by a pained whimper from the older MacGyver. Jack followed with a volley of punches to James gut, hearing the satisfying crunch of a broken rib. The Delta let go of his boss, who slumped to the floor. Jack stood over him, shaking with fighting the need to kill this man right here on the spot. The thing that stopped him was the thought of what this would do to Mac. The Delta made a step back and snarled. „If it weren't for your son, I would kill you."

„You're in a tight spot Dalton. I've made sure, that there is no evidence of Sallys accident leading to me. I could kill her or any other member of your family and nobody would be the wiser. You can prevent it, Jack. The only thing you have to do is go out and take Kovac down, and I won't bother you anymore, I promise." James smiled, his teeth coated with blood. „It's your choice Jack. But I have to warn you, one word of this to anyone and your family gets it. Your mission starts tomorrow morning, now get out of my office."

Jack stared at James for a long minute, then he stepped forward and kicked his boss in the side and left the office. He left the Phoenix without a backward glance, he needed fresh air and time to think about this mess, but deep down he already knew, that there was only one option. He would do what Oversight forced him to.

A few hours after coming back from his Dads grave Jack was sitting on Macs doorstep, waiting for his friend to arrive. The blond agent pulled up in the driveway and came over, wearing a confused look on his face. „What's wrong Jack?"

„We need to talk, can we go inside?" Jack asked not able to meet his partners eyes.

They settled onto the deck, beers in hands, but neither took a sip. Mac waited patiently for Jack to start talking.

„Hoss, it's … I knew I promised … you have to believe me … Damn! This sucks!" Jack jumped up and leaned his elbows on the railing, burying his head in his hands. Mac stood up and laid a hand on his friends back. „Jack, you're scaring me. Talk to me brother, what is it?" He urged, he was really concerned now, he hadn't seen Jack so agitated in a long time.

Jack turned around and his eyes were shining with tears. „I'm going after Kovac. Alone," was all he managed. The silence on the deck seemed to stretch forever, while the consequences of this statement sunk into Macs soul. His stance went rigid and he took a step back, distancing himself not only physically from Jack.

„Why? You said, you wouldn't go. Ok, I'm going with you. We'll need to …"

Jack interrupted him. „No hoss. The Phoenix needs you and that big brain of yours. I've called someone, to have your back while I'm gone. Her name's Desi. She's badass, a little strange maybe, but she's the only one I trust to take care of your safety."

Mac got angry. „That's it? All the talk _you go kaboom I go kaboom _was just hot air? All the promises to never leave, to always have my back just empty phrases? Well, thank you Jack Dalton, for nothing!"

Jack held up his hands to soothe his friend. „I'm so sorry Mac. I honestly don't want to go, but I have to. I have no other choice, brother."

„Don't call me that. Don't call me that ever again. I think it's better if you leave now Dalton." Mac covered his hurt feelings with a mask set in stone. Jack flinched if someone had punched him in the gut. That was the moment, when his heart shattered into a million pieces.

„I love you Mac." He turned and left.

The next morning the team was gathered in the war room except Jack. Matty was informing them on Jacks leaving to hunt Kovac down. Gabe, the medic of the Phoenix TAC team was also on board as well as Phil, who had joined Phoenix only a few months before. There were surprised gasps and shouts of „No!". Matty didn't like Oversights decision, but she understood the need to bring the terrorist down. She didn't believe James lame excuse about being hurt during a robbery, but she could do nothing about it. A look into Macs pale face told her, that Jack had already told him of his mission. Matty had agreed to Jacks demand on selecting Macs new overwatch, she owed the Delta that much.

The team had settled down a bit, when Jack walked in to say his goodbyes. There were tears falling and fierce hugs exchanged. Especially Riley took it hard to see her surrogate father leave. Matty could tell it was really taking a toll on Jack to keep his shit together. Macs expression had changed into one of anger again and all he offered to his partner was an outstretched hand, which Jack let go reluctantly. All of them could feel the need to pull Mac into a hug literally pouring out of Jack, but he accepted his friends choice to keep his distance. A short nod, without a word to Jack and Mac left the room. They all stood there, quite not believing that Mac didn't even say goodbye to Jack. Riley opened her mouth to air her fury, but Jack stopped her.

„He has every right to be angry. Promise me to take good care of him, will you?" Jack pleaded. „Bozer can I have a word in private with you?" The team left the room after saying goodbye once more.

Bozer waited patiently. Jack pulled out an envelope. „I need you to keep this for me. If anything happens to me … just make sure Mac gets this, ok?"

Bozer lost the fight with his tears. „I promise Jack, but don't you dare and not come back!"

„I will give everything. I need to make things right with Mac. I'll try to stay in contact via Skype as often as possible. Make sure my boy eats and sleeps, Boze."

Bozer nodded and watched his secret role model leave the Phoenix. He was afraid was the future might held not only for Jack but also for the rest of the Phoenix family.

Please review!


	3. Chapter 3

AN:

Thanks a lot for all the support! Enjoy!

Chapter 3

The next few weeks were tough on Mac and the rest of the Phoenix team. Desi, the new overwatch for Mac had arrived, but she wasn't a woman to like instantly. Mac felt uncomfortable with her around but he had to admit, she was a tough girl and an asset in a fight. He missed Jack so badly, but he was also still very angry about the Delta for leaving him. Mac had thought he had gotten used to be abandoned, but he wasn't prepared for the emptiness he felt since his partner left. The blond was so sad he could cry, but that fact alone angered him even more.

He had skipped the first two Skype calls from Jack. Mac just couldn't face him, it hurt too much, and Mac knew it was childish, but he wanted to show Jack that he didn't need him anymore. Today the team was gathered in his living room again, because Jack had set up a call this afternoon. Riley got her laptop ready on the coffee table and they had gotten comfortable on the couch. Desi wasn't there, she still didn't want to be a part of the family and kept her distance. Mac entered the living room, and put on his running shoes. Bozer noticed it and said. „Jack's calling. Why don't you join us? He misses you bro and he is worried about you, and I know you miss him too."

„Well, I don't miss him." Mac stated with an unreadable expression on his face. That angered Bozer. „Stop being so selfish Mac. Don't you know how hard this is on Jack? He had to do this, but he didn't want to go, I guess. We are his family, we can still be together and watch out for each other, but he is all alone out there. Who's watching his back? You hurt him with being absent at the Skype calls. Stop sulking like a child Mac."

„It was his choice. He choose to leave. Nobody forced him to go on this hunt. I'm going for a run," was all that Mac answered and he left the apartment, running as the devil himself was after him. Driving himself to exhaustion seemed the only way to get some rest these days. Mac couldn't stop his mind going around in circles. Why had Jack left him? He said at first, that he wouldn't go after Kovac and Jack wasn't a man to change his mind every day. Maybe it was that the Delta was simply just sick and tired of him. Macs clingyness especially after tough missions, his talent to get injured and needing someone to nurse him back to health or his rambling about physics and science stuff. Jack was a strong and independent man, maybe he had enough of playing the babysitter for Mac. Bozers words were still ringing in his ears. He knew, he hurt Jack with his absence at their only chance of communication and although he felt bad about it, that was exactly his intention. Jack had hurt him so much, Mac couldn't help himself but to hurt him too. Bozer was right, he behaved like a brat. Maybe that was it, Mac felt all but ten years old again, abandoned and not worth the effort to stay.

Meanwhile the team waited for Jacks face to appear on the screen of Rileys laptop. With a whoop of joy the hacker recognized the familiar face smiling at them.

„Hey old man, how are you doing?" She was the first to ask, leaning forward not to miss any expression on Jacks face. The Delta looked exhausted and drawn and it seemed if he had lost some weight.

„I'm good, thanks Ri. How are you all?" He answered, but everyone saw how his eyes were searching the small group for Mac. Jack wasn't able to hide his disappointment. It has almost been two months since he saw Mac the last time.

„He went for a run Jack." Bozer answered Jacks unasked question. „But you can be sure, that I will kick his ass for it. Enough is enough. He needs to stop sulking and being angry all the time." Bozer was not able to hide the fury, he felt about their earlier head butting.

They weren't prepared for Jacks reaction. He leaned forward until his face took up almost all of the screen and hissed. „Don't you dare give him a hard time Bozer! Anyone of you! He's hurting and just lashing out, that's his way to deal with the situation. Mac has every right to be angry at me. I deserve it. I abandoned him and that after I promised him for years to always stay by his side. Mac needs the support from all of you. He won't come and ask for help, you know him. Just make sure he knows it wasn't his fault that I left. Our genius is too good at blaming himself for everything. So, tell me how is he doing? And I want the truth, not the sugarcoated shit you've tried the last time to sell me!" Jack demanded.

They looked at each other ashamed. They had been angry with Mac for his sulking behaviour. It took Jack who was (maybe) thousand miles away to make them see the truth. Bozer cleared his throat and said. „He's not sleeping well and ne's not eating enough either. You know how he is. But I promise, I'll try harder to make him take better care of himself. I'm sorry Jack."

„Thanks Bozer, I knew you wouldn't let me down and you don't have to be sorry. This situation is my fault and I want to aoplogize to all of you, for putting you through this. I feel like an asshole for leaving and letting you pick up the pieces. It's just … I had no other choice, if there had been any way, I would have stayed, please believe me." Jack begged and they could see, he was fighting to keep the tears at bay.

Riley raised her hand and touched the screen, as if she could create a physical connection with Jack. „Hey, easy big guy. We got it, you had to do this. You don't have to justify your decision to go after Kovac. Try not to worry too much about Mac, he'll come around. We'll make sure he doesn't get lost in his head." She didn't make the effort to wipe away her tears. Rileys heart broke for her surrogate father. „Just promise me to be careful. Don't let yourself get killed wherever you are."

„That's the plan. And just for the record, it's not only Mac I'm worried about. I'm caring about you two as well, I just know you're handling the situation better than he is, but that doesn't stop me from worrying about all of you." Jack sighed. „Look guys, the hunt is getting a bit hotter. I don't know when I'm able to call you again, it may take me some weeks. Keep it together and look after my boy, and give Matty a kiss from me." He added with a grin to lighten the mood.

Riley commented it with. „Eew not me!"

Bozer added. „You can do that yourself when you come back. Matty would probably cut off my balls, if I would try to kiss her."

They all shared a laugh and the screen went dark. Mac stood there in the back of the room, he only heard the last sentence of Jack. He said. „I don't need anybody to look after me."

Riley stood up and went over to the blond. „Mac, he's concerned about you. It eats him up alive, that he's not here to look after you …."

Mac interrupted harshly. „Then he shouldn't have left." He turned and left the house again not able to face his friends or his feelings, so he did what he was good at. Running from everything.

Although the Phoenix team wasn't a close knit family since Jack left, the missions went pretty good most of the time. Sure there was always something going wrong. Bad intel or other unwelcome surprises they had to deal with, but Desi fulfilled the role as protector and made sure everybody got home in one piece more or less.

The relationship between Mac and his father was still going up and down, but since Jack left James seemed to make more of an effort to tighten their bond. Mac was not sure what to think about it. He had an uneasy feeling in his gut, but he couldn't point a finger on it.

It had been almost six weeks until the team had last heard from Jack. Mac had finally let go of the anger. Long talks with Riley, Bozer and even Matty had helped him come to terms with Jacks leaving. Mac had started to eat and sleep again and he looked healthier. He still couldn't stop his excessive running sessions, they were a valve to let go of all tension. Worry over Jack had replaced the anger and he was anxious to talk to his brother again. He felt bad for the way they had parted and wanted to apologize for it.

Riley ran into the lab, where Bozer was working with Mac on Sparky. „Jack set up a call for this afternoon!"

Bozer grinned and Mac looked relieved. „Make sure the laptop is ready. Bring your back up rig, just in case ok?" Mac didn't want to jeopardize the call, he needed to talk to Jack so badly.

Mac was a mess. He looked at his watch for the tenth time in the last … what? Only five minutes? His watch must be broken, he cross checked it with his cell phone. No, it was working perfectly. The waiting was driving him nuts. Finally Riley appeared and started to set up her rig. She shared a smile with Bozer. They both were looking forward to seeing Mac and Jack reunited, even if it was only on Skype.

Mac sat on the couch between Bozer and Riley. He couldn't stop his knee from bobbing. The image on the sreen changed and there he was. Jack! He hadn't shaved in at least a week and he looked exhausted, but what shocked Mac the most was the bandage around his neck.

„Jack! What happened? Are you ok brother?" Mac flopped forward to get every detail.

„Hey there you are Mac! I missed you so much buddy! Ri, Boze, good to see you too!" Jack was all smiles. He had tears of joy in his eyes, he didn't make the effort to hide. Riley just nodded and smiled too, while Bozer repeated Macs question. „What happened to your neck Jack?"

The Delta gingerly touched the bandage and answered with a hoarse voice. „We ran into some of Kovacs buddies and one of them tried to assist me at shaving," he tried to make light of the situation.

„A knife wound? God Jack, he could have killed you!" Mac had visibly paled.

„It's ok Mac. Just a scratch. We're getting closer to him, that's good. How are you buddy, really?" Jacks voice expressed the need to know, how his brother was faring.

Guilt welled up in Mac and he lowered his gaze. „I … I miss you …" The screen went dark and Mac jumped up and cried. „Riley, do something!" The hacker was already trying to reconnect, but it was in vain. „I'm sorry Mac, the line is dead."

Mac fell back on the couch. He laid an arm over his face and mumbled into it. „I wanted to apologize." Mac sat in front of the laptop for hours, waiting for Jacks face to appear again. Riley had left after she got a call from Phoenix and Bozer went to bed an hour ago. The blond was glad he was able to talk to Jack, but there were so many things he needed to get of his chest. Mac was robbed of the opportunity to make things right with Jack. Since he had overcome his anger towards Jack, he longed for his former partner. The need to hear his voice, share their thoughts and jokes became overwhelming. Worry over Jacks health was gnawing at him. When he witnessed the final seconds of the last call from Jack he had immediately noticed the haggard appearance of his friend.

Mac drew some comfort from the fact that Gabe was with Jack. He was one of the TAC team member and Mac trusted him. The medic had looked out for Jack, when Oversight had sent him out with a concussion. Phil was the other TAC agent, who joined the hunt for Kovac. Mac really didn't know the guy that well, he just hoped he also watched his partners back.

Mac stood up, pacing his living room. They had no way to contact Jack, because of safety measures. He ran his hands through his hair in frustration. God, he needed to talk to his brother so badly. He stepped out onto the porch and watched the night sky. „Please come back to me Jack. I need you and I'm so sorry for the way I treated you." Mac whispered and settled back into one of the chairs. His gaze fell on the firepit, which hadn't been lit in a long time. How he wished to sit around the fire with the whole team and sharing a few beers and jokes with Jack. Would he ever get the chance to do this again? No, he mustn't let his thoughts go down that dark road. Jack was the best agent, he had ever known. A Delta Operator with tremendous tactical knowledge, a deadly accurate sniper and a passionate soldier with a reliable gut feeling, that was what Jack was. Mac went back inside with a sigh. He knew that Jack wouldn't reconnect the call, but he settled back on the couch in front of the laptop, just in case.

That was where Bozer found his friend the next morning. His heart broke for Mac. The blond had been so excited to talk to Jack. Bozer had felt the anxiety pouring from his friend. He knew that both Mac and Jack needed the contact, so he had talked to Riley and they had planned to only say hello to Jack and then leave to give him and Mac some privacy. Bozer sighed, well that wasn't meant to be. He only hoped that it wouldn't be weeks until Jack was able to call them again.

Please review!


	4. Chapter 4

AN:

Thanks to all the kind souls for leaving reviews. I hope you will enjoy the next chapter.

Chapter 4

Two weeks passed by and they still hadn't heard from Jack. Mac had settled down again. He was still worried about his partner, but comforted himself, that at least Jack knew that Mac was ready to speak with him again.

The team was ordered to the war room and expected a briefing for another mission. Matty stood facing the big screen, which was weird because the screen was still black. An uneasy feeling crept up Macs spine as he sat down in one of the chairs. Another minute went by until Matty turned around and they all knew instantly that there were bad news coming.

„Is it Jack?" Macs voice sounded weak with worry.

Matty looked at him with a grave expression and nodded. „Kovac is dead. Jack killed him this morning, but apparently Kovac got off a few shots before Jack took him out. Jack's alive, but it doesn't look good. Kovac was hiding in the Rio Grande National Forest in Colorado, so Jack will be here in twenty minutes. Medical is informed, the OR is ready and they're waiting for him." She took a deep breath and entwined her hands to hide the shaking.

Mac closed his eyes at these news. He heard Riley sobbing beside him and Bozer clearing his throat, before uttering the question Mac hadn't mustered the courage to ask yet. „How bad … where is he hit?"

All eyes were on Matty again. „Jack got one in the shoulder, another one in his lower abdomen and the third bullet nicked his femoral artery. Gabe dug the bullet out and cauterized the wound or Jack would have died right there and then, but it still doesn't look good." Mattys voice broke and she turned away, trying desperately to regain her composure.

Three bullets. How could a man survive three fucking bullets? Mac rose from his chair as if on autopilot. He didn't register Bozer hugging Riley, trying to comfort her. The blond left the room and headed to the roof of the Phoenix building, where the chopper would arrive.

Mac stood on the roof and couldn't remember how he got there. The low beating of the helicopter blades announced the arrival of his partner. A team of doctors and nurses stood beside Mac with a gurney, ready to bring Jack in.

„Hang on Jack, fight brother. Just hang on please," he wasn't aware of his whispered pleas until he felt a hand on his shoulder. Mac looked up and saw the calm face of Doc Ward and was relieved. The physician had put them back together so many times, Mac had lost count of, but what was really remarkable about the man, that he understood the special bond Mac and Jack shared. „We'll do everything we can to save him, Mac." The blond nodded, unable to speak around the knot of fear that had settled in his throat suddenly.

A minute later the chopper touched down and they were running to the helicopter. Mac tried not to get in the way of the medical personal despite his need to be near his friend. A backboard was pulled from the chopper and Mac gasped. He got a short glimpse of Jacks face and he looked … dead. No, no, no! His mind screamed. Jack was just unconscious, but Mac had never seen anybody as pale as his partner and still be alive. There was blood everywhere, Jacks black TAC clothes were soaked and there was a puddle of it in the chopper. A man sat slumped back in one of the seats and Mac recognized Gabe. The medic was also covered in blood up to his elbows and even his face had streaks of it. The blond locked his eyes with the other agent for a moment nodding a silent thank you, then turned around and followed his partner into the building. He ran beside the gurney hoping that Jack would open his eyes. The Delta was rushed into the OR and suddenly Mac was alone in the hall. The screams for vitals, blood work and orders to be fulfilled vanishing with his friend behind the doors. An erie silence filled with dread and hope settled over Mac. He revolved around himself. Had this really just happened? Mac blinked and only then registered that Matty, Riley and Bozer were standing a few feet away. Their eyes glued to the doors, where Jack had disappeared behind. Slowly they sat down on the chairs lining the wall. Mac stepped forward, he couldn't help himself and laid a hand on the door. Not to push it open, just to … he didn't know what he intended to do … to get as near as possible to his partner, to will Jack to fight and not to give up. After a minute he drew back and moved over to a chair, apart from his team. He needed a moment alone to pull himself together. Mac was vaguely aware, that somebody sat down beside him. He didn't look up to see who it was, but the blood covered forearms he noticed in his peripheral vision told him, that it was Gabe.

Mac knew, he should talk to the medic, but he was still too upset to string together a sentence. He mustered some energy and turned to Gabe. The soldier had leaned his head back on the wall and Mac could see him gulping hard several times. A strange noise that sounded almost like a sob left the medic, he took a deep breath and opened his eyes. Gabes mouth opened, but the words didn't come. He gulped again and started. „He was out cold when I got to him. I started working on his leg immediately and he opened his eyes. I don't even know, how's that possible with the amount of blood he was losing and the pain he was in, but he gripped my arm really hard and his eyes were clear. He said one sentence, before he passed out again." Gabe gulped again and Mac waited patiently until the medic continued. „He said: _Take me back to Mac!_ On the flight here, he coded and I …" Gabe stopped and laughed a bitter laugh „I screamed at him, that he had to fight, that he couldn't let you down, that he he was an asshole if he did this to you and then he … he came back. Honestly I don't know how he made it this far. He's a stubborn son of a bitch." Gabe leaned his head back and closed his eyes.

Mac sat there stunned. He didn't know what to say. A rush of emotions hit him all at once. A warm feeling, that Jacks only thought was to come home to Mac and a new wave of fear, that his partner wouldn't make it.

Mac was a science guy, so it didn't make any sense to him that time would sometimes stretch so endlessly. How could seconds turn into minutes and minutes into hours? Another glance at the clock on the wall made him sigh. He stared at the numbers until they blurred together. Gabe had left some time ago, he hasn't seen his familiy for four months, but he made them promise to call him as soon as there were any news. The team sat together in silence everybody lost in their own thoughts. Bozer came back from another coffee run. Six hours had passed since Jack was brought in, but time had lost all meaning.

The door opened and they immediately jumped to their feet. Doc Ward looked tired and he had a serious expression on his face, that worried Mac immensely. „Is he …" the blond couldn't find the courage to finish the question.

The physician shook his head. „He's still hanging on. We lost him once during the surgery, but we got him back. The bullet in his shoulder broke his collarbone and we had to remove his gallbladder. We stitched up the femoral artery. Gabe did a really good job in cauterizing the wound, otherwise Jack wouldn't have made it out of Colorado. We are concerned about infection, but the greatest problem is the blood loss. Organ failure is a huge risk right now, because of it. All in all it doesn't look good. We settled him into his room, you can sit with him Mac, but the others I have to ask to stay only for a few minutes. I'm really sorry, that I can't give you better news." The kind doctor sighed and walked away.

The interior of an ICU room wasn't something new to Mac. He shook his head. An ICU room shouldn't be so familiar to anybody, apart from medical staff. He sat down in a chair beside the bed, Riley took the other side and Bozer, Desi and Matty stood a little back. Hesitantly Mac took Jacks right hand and took stock of his partner.

Jack had a nasal canula to provide him with oxygen. The beeping of the heart monitor mixed with the soft sound of the oxygen made for a constant background noise only interrupted by the blood pressure cuff, that was coming to life periodically. Mac recognized IV and blood bags along with a PCA pump, lines, draines and cables were everywhere on Jack. But what bothered the blond the most was the CPR equipment the staff kept near Jacks bed. The Delta had already died twice in the last eight hours or so. Oh God! What a horrible thought, Mac shook his head to push it back to deal with it later. Now he needed to focus on his partner.

Macs eyes wandered back to Jacks face. Despite he had longed to see his friend again, Mac rather wished to see an easy smile plastered on a tan face. Jack was pale and his expression told what a toll the hunt after Kovac had taken. The Delta had definitely lost weight. A fading scar on his neck reminded the blond of the knife injury his partner sustained a few weeks earlier. Jack had given all to bring that man down and he had been successful, but at what price. Mac gripped Jacks hand harder, as if to keep him here, with his familiy where he belonged.

Nobody said a word. The faces of the team all held a smiliar expression. Horror and fear mixed with relief that Jack was back. After a few minutes a nurse walked in and motioned, that it was time for them to leave. They all stepped to the bed and murmured encouraging words and Riley kissed Jack gently on his forehead. Mac could tell, how hard it was for Riley to leave and he sent a pleading look to Bozer. His friend nodded and Mac was glad that Wilt understood the silent request to take care of Riley.

Mac felt a little guilty, that he was relieved when he was alone with Jack. His glance wandered once more over the readings on the monitors. Jacks vitals weren't great, but at least they were stable. Mac cleared his throat and started to talk. „You brought him down, Jack. The mission is over and now you have to concentrate on getting better, you hear me? We have a lot of things to do together when you're healthy again. My apartment needs painting and because you're staying over so often you are invited to help. We can do service on the GTO and then …" Macs voice broke, sounding upbeat was simply too difficult for him. „Damn it Jack! What should I do without you? That's not an option. I need you so much …" The blond laid his head on Jacks arm and cried. The sobs abated after a while and became occasional hiccups. Mac straightened and watched the Deltas face, searching for the tiniest sign that his partner was waking up, but there was nothing. „What's that bro? Making me cry like a girl and not even waking up to tease me about it?" The blond fell silent again.

There was a steady stream of doctors and nurses coming into the room and checking on Jack, administering meds and asking Mac if he needed something. The blond didn't move from his place beside his partner. Gradually Jacks vitals were getting worse and Macs fear of losing his partner increased.

Doc Ward entered the room once again. He stood there and watched his two favourite agents for a while.

_**Present time**_

„He is dying. I'm so sorry Mac, but his injuries are too severe, he lost too much blood. It's a miracle he survived as long as he did, but now his body is shutting down. Jack won't make it through the night." Doc Ward said with a broken voice and Macs world collapsed.

Sorry, for the cliffie, but I couldn't resist. Please let me know what you think!


	5. Chapter 5

AN:

Thanks for reviewing, favouriting and following the story. I wish you all a Merry Christmas and I hope you can spend the holidays with your loved ones. Take care! Special thanks to _A fan_, I love your review, but I couldn't contact you because of your guest status.

Chapter 5

Mac had heard the words, but his mind refused to accept them as a truth. He shook his head. „No! No, that can't be. Not Jack, he can't die. He's the strongest man I've ever known. He can beat this, I know it. Jack wouldn't do this to me." Mac straightened up, an expression of pure defiance appeared on his face. „Jack won't die, you'll see. Why do you give him up? You know him!" The blond accused the physician.

Doc Ward sighed. „I'm NOT giving up on him, but I know you both too long to be lying to you Mac. You deserve the truth, even if it's hurtful. As a physician I have to stick to the facts, and they're pointing towards Jacks death, I'm sorry." The Doctor paused a moment before he continued. „But as a human being, I'm still hoping, that he will survive and I'm glad you do the same. Let's give Jack the chance to prove the science wrong."

Macs face held a tiny smile. „Proving the science wrong. Jack would love that."

Doc Ward sqeezed Macs shoulder before he left. „I'll inform the team."

Mac picked up Jacks hand again and started to cry. „Don't die Jack. Please you have to fight this. I owe you an apology for the way I behaved. Stay with me brother." Mac wanted to say so many things to Jack, but his mind was … blank. He couldn't form any coherent thought. He just sat there and cried.

An hour later the door opened and the team walked in. A look in their faces told Mac, that they knew. He couldn't utter a word of comfort, because there simply wasn't anything that would make this easier and if Jack died, there would be nothing that could bring comfort to anyone of them. Jack was simply the heart of their Phoenix family, if he wouldn't make it then they would fall apart. Riley and Bozer were crying openly, Mattys eyes were shining with tears and Desis face was set in stone. They sat there in silence for a while. Bozer stood up again and touched Macs arm, who looked up startled. Bozer held an envelope in his hands. „Jack … he wanted me to give you this, if anything should happen to him."

Mac took it and started to cry again. He shook his head. „No, I don't want this. He won't die, so you can take it and give it back to him, when he's healthy again."

Bozers eyes filled up. „Take it Mac. It's your decision, if you want to read it now or …. or when … Jack just wanted you to have this, so it's yours. You decide what to do with it."

Mac took the envelope and held it in his hands. Not because he wanted it, no just because it was from Jack and he needed everything he could hold onto.

Riley broke down. „No Jack, no. How could you do this to us?" She started hitting Jack and Bozer grabbed her and led her out of the room. Matty looked over to Desi, who understood the silent order to give Mac and Jack some privacy.

Mac held the envelope in his hands and turned it over and over again. „What's this Jack? Your last will? I don't care what happens to your stuff. It's just junk anyway, apart from your car. Why did you write this?" And then it dawned on Mac. He hadn't given Jack a chance to say goodbye to him properly. Mac let his hands slide over the envelope again and suddenly he felt something other than paper. He got curious and opened it. There it was. A badly mangled paperclip in the shape of an awkward heart. Mac turned it around in his hands and laid his head on the bed near Jack and cried brokenly. It took a long time for the sobs to subside. He straightened up again and his gaze fell on the letter that had fallen to the floor. Hesitantly he picked it up and started to read.

_Dear Mac,_

_if you read this, then I've messed up, again. I'm so sorry hoss, that I've broken the promise I gave you. I know, I've let you down and I hate myself for it. I'm gonna take this regret to my grave, because it seems I didn't get the chance to make things right with you again._

_I want to say thank you to you Mac. For saving my life. The days before I met you, were really dark ones. Every night I held my gun to my head, fighting the urge to end it once and for all. And every night I came closer to doing it. Then I became your overwatch and it changed everything. I really didn't like you at first, but I saw what you were capable of and I knew that the world would be a better place with you in it. So I had to make sure you got out of the sandbox alive. At first you gave me a purpose to keep going and after a while the will to live came back into my life as our friendship developed. The dark wasn't so dark anymore, suddenly there was a light in my life again and that light are you Mac. Thank you for pulling me out of the dark and back into the light. _

_I made a promise to myself to never leave you, long before I made that same promise to you. Leaving you was by far the hardest thing I ever had to do in my entire life, but I had no choice. Well, to be honest I had a choice. How do you choose between family and family? Nobody should have to do this, but I had._

_I really wish you would never learn this, but since it seems I messed up, I have only this one option left to tell you the truth. You will probably hate me for this and if you decide to blow up my headstone, I'm perfectly fine with it. As you know, at first I refused to go after Kovac and I was serious about it. But then my sister had this accident and when I came back to Phoenix your Dad callled me into his office. Oh Mac! I'm so sorry to tell you this, but it was your Dad who was behind Sallys accident. He threatened to hurt or kill my family if I didn't go after Kovac. So, I had no choice. I simply couldn't risk it. I knew, it would mean to break my promise and leave you, but I really hoped that I would make it back and would have a chance at earning your trust again. The only comfort I had was that Desi would keep you safe. I once saved her family from human trafficker and I knew she would do anything to return the favor. So at least I didn't have to worry about you. Bullshit! I always worry about you, even if you are in bed sleeping._

_I'm so sorry if my confession strains the relationship with your father. I had really hoped for you to build something solid with him. You deserve it and so much more. _

_I have one last request Mac. I know you're good at thinking, but please do me a favor and listen to your gut feeling. Sometimes that big brain of yours is like a maze and you get lost in it. Don't try to analyze everything, just listen to your gut hoss._

_I tried to make a paperclip heart for you. After half a box of them and four bleeding fingers, that's the best I could manage. You'll be always in my heart hoss. I love you._

_Jack Wyatt Dalton_

The letter slipped out of Macs hands, but the paperclip heart he still held tightly in his hand. Mac whispered. „Oh my god, what have I done?" After a moment he added „and what has my father done to you?" The guilt was crushing Mac. His anger at Jack, the cold handshake he gave the Delta when he left, the hurtful, blaming words he threw at his partner, Macs rejection of the Skype calls … everything crashed down on Mac at once. His breathing got laboured and the room got blurry. Deep breaths, one easy breath, he tried to coach himself. After a few minutes Mac had fought back the physical assault of the guilt. His mind was another story. Mac knew Jack for years, how could he not have seen that there was more to Jacks decision than fulfilling the duty of a soldier? He remembered the tortured look on his partners face and felt ashamed. His own father had hurt Jacks sister and then threatened to kill her or another relative of the Texan. To imagine what Jack went through made him feel sick. Jack was always there for Mac, when everything became to much for him. Pulling him from his nightmares and talking him through sleepless nights. Coaching Mac through panic attacks and his greatest talent: Pulling Mac out when he got lost in his brain again. Jack was good with words, he always knew when something bothered Mac. Why didn't he notice, that there was something else going on with Jack? Mac snorted. Because he was a selfish bastard. He thought back and remembered his fathers broken nose and bruised face. Jack! He wondered for a moment, why his friend hasn't killed his father, but then it dawned on Mac. Because of him. The blond sighed and looked at his partner, who still lay unmoving in his bed.

„You know, you can't die, do you? Not after what I've read in your letter. Yeah, I know I should have read it when you … when you … but to be honest, I'm glad I've read it. There are so many things I want to say sorry for and so many things I want to say thank you for. I'm gonna deal with Oversight later, yeah you heard it right, because after what he had done he has lost the right to be my father." Mac ran his hand through his hair and took a deep breath before he continued. „I didn't know that you were so bad off, when we met back at the sandbox, but I'm glad that I could help you overcome it. I wouldn't have made it out of Afghanistan alive if it weren't for you. That there was a person, who was willing to sign up for another tour in that hell just to keep me safe blew my mind, to be honest it still does. You're a selfless idiot, you know? Give me a chance Jack, please don't leave me hanging like this." Mac begged and fell silent as the door opened.

Gabe walked in and Mac looked up surprised. „I thought you went home."

The medic nodded. „I did and it was great. When I emptied my pockets I found this." He held up a little item, Mac recognized as a bullet. „I wasn't aware that I put the bullet, I dug out of Jacks leg, in my pocket." Gabe hesitated a moment. „I know it's not the right time, but I wanted you to know, that there's something that doesn't add up here."

Mac raised an eyebrow. „What?"

Gabe cleared his throat. „That's a bore 38, the kind all of the TAC guys including Jack use, Kovac carried a bore 45."

„But that would imply, that …" Mac started, but was interrupted by the medic.

„Kovac didn't shoot Jack."

„Then, who did it?"

„I don't know, but Phil was the first of our guys in the room with Jack and Kovac."

„Maye, there was one of Kovacs men, who carried a bore 38." The blond surmised.

Gabe looked not convinced. „Maybe."

Mac immediately picked up Gabes opinion. „Do you want to insinuate that one of our guys shot Jack?" Mac asked dumbfounded. The thought of a Phoenix agent trying to kill his partner sent chills down his spine. The TAC Team members were mostly selected by Jack. He trained them and most of them would probably die for the Delta. But Phoenix had been infiltrated before, had it happened again?

Gabe shook his head. „I don't know what to think Mac, but to be honest I don't trust Phil and I know that Jack doesn't either. I'm gonna take all the bullets they dug out of Jack to the lab and let them get checked with Phils gun. I'll inform Matty too." Gabe turned to leave, but Mac held him back.

„Gabe you need to be discreet about this. We don't want to accuse an innocent man." The medic raised an eyebrow, but agreed. „Ok, Mac I will and you don't let Jack bail on us."

Mac smiled. „I will."

An ugly suspicion cursed through Macs mind. Could it be possible that one of their own guys shot Jack? Accidents happen, but the Delta was hit three times, so it was on purpose. But why? Oversight. It was the only thing that would make sense to Mac. This time Mac lost the fight with his stomach and he ran to the bathroom and was violently sick. He sat on the floor, laid his head back and breathed deeply. When his stomach settled down he stood up and rinsed his mouth with water. When he walked back to Jack his first glance wandered to the monitors, no change. Good. He sat down again and held his head in his hands. Did James force Jack to go after Kovac, because he had hoped the Delta would be killed on that mission? Mac thought back when Jack had suffered the concussion because of James. It seemed, that Oversight wanted to get rid of Jack back then. The appearance of Kovac must have been James chance to take Jack out of the game for good. Was this what had happened or was Mac getting paranoid? Would Oversight go that far and order someone to kill his partner? He sighed and concentrated on Jack again.

„I'm gonna deal with this mess, once you're better Jack." He promised and watched the monitors once again. At the moment Jacks vitals were stable. „Just hang on buddy. You've got this, you just have to fight a little harder this time bro. I'm here Jack. You're not alone, just breath …" when he had said those words he remembered a song, he knew Jack loved. He pulled out his phone and said. „What about Willie Nelson?" He started the song and the soft voice began to fill the room.

_Yes I understand, that every life must end awha_

_As we sit alone, I know somedoy you must go awha_

Mac winced at the words. „Not now, Jack. Your time hasn't come yet." He whispered.

_Oh, I'm a lucky man, to count on both hands_

_The one I love_

_Some folks just have one_

_Yeah, others they've got none awha_

_Stay with me_

_Let's just breathe._

Mac sqeezed Jacks hand harder. „You hear Willie, Jack? Just listen to him and breathe and stay with me brother, just stay with me!" He pleaded and looked at the monitors with horror when an alarm indicated a drop in Jacks heart rate.

„No, Jack NO!" Mac shouted and ran to the door to get help, but Doc Ward with a nurse on his heels rushed in. The sound of the flat line that appeared on the screen was the worst Mac had ever heard in his entire life. He turned back to the bed and watched his worst nightmare come true.

„He's coding," Doc Ward said and immediately lowered the bed to a flat position while the nurse got the cart with the CPR equipment ready. A moment later the sound of the electric shock that hit Jack filled the room. The trio stared at the monitors for a few seconds, but there was no response. „Again," the Doc ordered, but the Deltas heart showed no reaction.

„Increase to 370 Joule," the physician told the nurse and applied the next shock.

Nothing. An then Mac lost it and started to scream. „Noooooo!" He grabbed Jacks shoulders and screamed again and again. „Stay, stay, stay, don't go Jack!"

The nurse pulled Mac back and Doc Ward administered another shock. And there it was. One single beat that interrupted the flatline on the monitor, then another and soon the rythm got steady again.

„That's it Jack. One after another. You're doing great buddy." Mac choked out and stroke Jacks face not aware that tears were rolling down his face and were dripping onto Jacks cheeks.

Reviews are most welcome!


	6. Chapter 6

AN:

Thank you all so much for the kind words. I hope you had great holidays. Enjoy the next chapter.

Chapter 6

Jack came back from his pain free oblivion to awareness with a freight train crashing into his chest accompanied by a devastated cry. „Nooooooo! Stay, stay, stay, don't go Jack!"

Jack knew the voice, he just couldn't place it, but he felt that it was important somehow. The freight train sent flares of pain through his body. But Jack felt something else, wetness on his face. Well, no wonder he was crying, he hurt like hell. He tried to sort the agony that was attacking him. His shoulder was a pool of misery, while his gut felt if someone was digging around in there with a glowing poker. The dull throbbing in his leg was bearable in comparison to that. His chest burnt awfully and Jack let out a groan. The voice was back.

Mac had heard his partner groan and it was the most wonderful sound he could imagine. „Jack! Open your eyes big guy! You're back at Phoenix. You're home, Jack, your home." Mac cried and wasn't ashamed for it. He watched Jacks face and squeezed his partners hand hard. After a few moments he was rewarded with another groan and the flutter of eyelids.

Mac! Jack could remember to whom the voice belonged. His best friend. Ok, open your eyes Dalton, the kid sounds like he's falling apart. He mustered all his energy and opened his eyes for a second before they closed again.

„That's it buddy. Come on, look at me Jack. You can do it." Mac started stroking his partners face again.

Jack groaned and opened his eyes. They were not focussing at first, but he felt Macs hand on his face and recognized the blonds smell. Slowly the blob in front of him cleared up and became Mac.

„Mac," he whispered and was rewarded with the most wonderful smile he had ever seen. It was as if the sun was rising for the first time in months. „Mac," he said again, a single tear was rolling down his face.

Mac brushed it gently away with his thumb, he smiled. „Yeah, it's me Jack. Welcome back partner. You gave us quite a scare."

„Sorry," was all that the Delta managed. He was losing the fight to stay awake and gave in to the welcoming painfree darkness once more.

„It's ok big guy, just rest, but don't leave me ok." Mac whispered.

„…ot goin anwhere" Jacks eyes closed and Macs eyes wandered to the monitors.

„He's just unconscious. It's a good sign, that he woke up Mac. But he's not out of the woods yet." Doc Ward warned.

„He won't die Doc, I know it. Jack won't do this to me. I know I sound selfish, but that's how it's always been between us." Mac explained.

The physician nodded. „And that's a good thing. He's not a quitter, there's only so much medical science can do. If he didn't have such a strong will to survive, he would have died long before he arrived here for sure." Doc Ward checked Jacks wounds once more and left the room.

Mac didn't know how much time had passed, but luckily Jack hasn't gotten worse. The door opened and Matty walked in. She stood on the other side of Jacks bed, she reached out a hand but the Deltas left arm was in a sling so she laid her hand on his leg.

„I spoke with Doc Ward, he told me that he was coding again, but that he came to shortly after."

Mac nodded. He was exhausted and answering seemed to much of an effort. This didn't go unnoticed on his boss.

„You look like hell, you should get some rest. I can sit with him for a while." Matty offered.

That triggered a reaction immediately. „No! I won't leave him, I'll rest, when he's better." Matty knew when she met an unmovable object and agreed. „I understand Mac. I'm sorry, but I need to bring this up now. Gabe came to me and told me about his suspicion. Although I really hope, that he is wrong, I'll have to investigate the incident. I've sent out someone to bring Phil in so that I can question him, the lab is already working on the bullets." Matty hesitated a moment, before she continued. „Your Dad will visit Jack later, he …" Although Matty knew, that Macs relationship to his father was complicated and that Jack hated James, she wasn't prepared for the violent reaction of the blond agent. He jumped up from his chair, with such force that it tipped over with a crash. Mac spun around to his boss and sneered. „If you let him in here I can't guarantee for anything. I just might kill him."

Matty stepped back startled by Macs outburst. He regained her composure a second later. „What is going here Mac?" She wanted to know in her business voice.

Mac bent down, picked up the letter and held it out for his boss to read. With a sigh he rightened the chair and slumped down on it. He suddenly felt old and tired.

„I don't know what to say Mac. I'm sorry, but this letter indicates that …" she broke off and Mac continued for her.

„my father sent Jack after Kovac in the hope, that he would die on that mission. When this didn't work out he sent out the new guy Phil to finish Jack off. A part of me doesn't want to believe it, but in my gut I feel that this is exactly what happened." He was devastated. How could anyone want Jack to be dead? And that it was his own father who was probably responsible for his brother, lying in this bed fighting for his life, made it all the worse. Mac had fought so many bad guys in his life, met mercs that wanted to kill him this wasn't something knew to him. But having a relative trying to murder the most important person in your life wasn't anything Mac could process. It just made no sense. They were the good guys, their purpose was to fight the bad guys. Simple as that. No, it wasn't simple at all. So many missions that go south, so many tight spots to shoot and improvise out of it. Life threatening situations and injuries. And they accepted it all, to save lifes and protect their country at the end of the day. The thing they didn't need at all, was to have enemies in their own organisation even less in your own family. But that was what had happened. If Macs father was behind this, then he had became the blonds enemy.

Mac snorted. „Jack said it in his letter, that I should listen to my gut. Maybe if I had done it sooner, he wouldn't lie here fighting for his life."

Matty started. „Mac, we don't know …" but was interrupted by the blond.

„I don't know, you're right, but I feel it. I've felt it back then, when Oversight tried to kill Jack the first time, but I kept my mouth shut. I didn't want to believe that he is capable of something so cruel, I just hoped he could love me …that he could love me like Jack does. I should have walked away from him then." Mac dropped his head in his hands.

„Do you know what Jack would tell you?" Matty asked not waiting for an answer. „He would tell you to stop blaming yourself. Nothing that has happened was your fault. So it ain' no use in beatin' yourself up hoss." She added in a poor imitation of Jacks Texas drawl. That had the desired effect and Mac smiled.

„You know he would have your hide for slaughtering his famous Texas drawl." Mac remarked, but he felt a bit lighter.

Matty turned serious again. „Mac I know Oversight is your father, but if he has anything to do with this I'm gonna take him down, you know that, do you?"

Mac held her glance. „I hope so Matty, I hope so."

His boss nodded and left the room.

Mac settled back in his chair and started to talk to his partner again. „When you left, I … I didn't do well. I was angry all the time and behaving like an asshole. I don't know, how Riley and Bozer put up with me. I was so hurt, by your leaving. I mean a part of me understood, why you had to go, well I thought I did, but I was so selfish only thinking about myself all the time. I'm so sorry, I knew it was wrong, but I was … somehow trapped in my feelings like in a cage. And I couldn't find my way out of it for quite some time. When everything got to much, I went over to your apartment, I put on one of your Metallica shirts and slept in your bed. Holy shit! I sound like a sick stalker or something like that. I felt so alone and wanted just to feel a bit closer to you. I'm really sorry that I intruded you personal space. Did you know, that the chocolate in your fridge expired two years ago?" Mac sighed and went silent. He wasn't very good at one sided conversations, that was more Jacks profession. „Damnit Jack, my mouth is running dry, doing all the talking here."

„Mine too," came a croaking from the bed.

„Jack, how long have you been awake?" Mac grinned, relieved that Jack woke up again. He held a cup with a straw to Jacks mouth and the Delta drank gratefully. His head slumped back into the pillow.

„Thanks Mac," he breathed and watched his friend with a fond smile. „I missed you buddy." Jacks voice was weak, but it was like music to Macs ears. He couldn't stop himself from tearing up again and said.

„I missed you too Jack, more than I can say," the blond gulped and swiped away some tears before he continued. „I'm sorry Jack for the way I treated you I …"

Jack raised a shaking hand and interrupted him. „No Mac, don't apologize. You have nothing to be sorry for. I left you after I promised you so often, not to do this to you." Jacks heart rate sped up and he got agitated, tears were starting to fall and he searched for Macs hand, gripping it when he found it. „I knew, how being abandoned had left scars on your soul and I added some more to it. I'm so sorry, sorry, sorry, bud, I didn't mean it …" He trailed off and Macs heart broke for his friend.

Mac rubbed the back of Jacks hand in soothing circles and reached up with his other hand to stroke Jacks face. „It's ok Jack calm down, easy big guy. You have nothing to be sorry for. I'm here Jack. Just breathe, it's ok. I'm not going anywhere." Mac mumbled and Jacks eyes slipped closed, the outburst had taken all out of him. After a few minutes the Deltas breathing evened out and his heart rate was back to normal. Mac couldn't bring himself to let go of Jack. He felt a surge of anger rise in him.

„I hate you for doing this to him and I won't ever forgive you for it." Mac adressed his father silently although he wasn't in the room, but the blond had to get it out.

Doc Ward entered and checked on his patient again two hours later. He turned to Mac and smiled. „I think he really proved the science wrong. Jack has a long road ahead of him, but I think he's gonna be ok, if there aren't any complications."

Macs face lit up and he said. „I told you so. He's way to stubborn to die. Thank you for not giving up on him Doc and bringing him back."

The physician smiled. „I think that's more on Jack and you, but thank you Mac. Try to get some rest."

Mac nodded, but it was too soon for him to leave Jack.

A short time later Riley and Bozer walked in, wearing big smiles. „The Doc told us Jack is gonna be ok." Bozer beamed. Riley took the chair on the other side of Jacks bed and looked to the floor ashamed. „I'm sorry Mac, for loosing it earlier. I just couldn't …"

Mac reached over and took her hand. „It's ok Riles. I felt the same. I still want to kick his ass for letting himself get shot three times," he added with a smile.

Riley looked up and the tension had left her face. „Yeah, I'll give him an earful for this. Worrying us for months, scaring us with that neck injury and the broken up Skype call and then coming back half dead. I already have an idea how to get back at him, I'm gonna have …"

„Pizza and skeeball …" came from the bed. Jack opened his eyes and managed a small smile.

„Jack!" Riley cried and kissed him on the cheek, before she settled back into the chair and sobered. „You scared the shit out of me old man."

„Sorry! How you guys are doin' ?" Jack tried to get more comfortable, but the movement woke up all his pains at once. He sqeezed his eyes shut and sucked in a sharp breath.

Mac tried to soothe him. „Easy big guy, try not to move around too much."

„Good advice, smart ass," Jack mumbled through clenched teeth, Mac reached out and pushed the button on Jacks PCA pump, not able to see his brother suffer so much pain.

„You're welcome dumbass," teased Mac and helped his partner to drink.

The slight banter continued for a few minutes until the medication took effect and Jack slipped back into a healing sleep. The three friends sat for a while in silence until Bozer spoke up, his voice thick with emotion.

„I'm so glad he's gonna be ok. The thought of losing him … we're not gonna let him go on some stupid mission alone ever again. We shouldn't have let him in the first place."

Mac cleared his throat and said. „Well, he didn't want to, but Oversight forced him to."

The others noticed immediately that the blond didn't refer to James as father or Dad, but let it go for the moment.

Riles eyes went wide. „How? What did he do? Jack doesn't let himself talk into something he doesn't want to do."

Mac nodded. „You're right. James was responsible for the accident of Jacks sister and he threatened to harm his family further even kill one of them, if Jack wouldn't go after Kovac." The blond didn't mention the suspicion of how the shooting went down. He didn't want to accuse Phil if it turned out to be one of Kovacs men to be the perpetrator.

Bozer jumped up. „What? How could he do this? And how do you know? Did Jack tell you?"

Mac pulled out the letter. „I read it. Jack wanted me to know in case he didn't …" the blond trailed off not willing to put into words the horrible possibility of Jack dying. The memory of Jack coding still to fresh on his mind.

„I'm sorry Mac, but your father is an asshole. Why is he still walking around? He should be in prison for what he had done." Riley fumed.

„It's ok Ri. Obviously he made sure there aren't any leads connecting him with the accident." The blond sighed wearily. „I promise you to take care of the matter, but for now the only thing that counts is that Jack is gonna be ok. The Doc said he's got a long road ahead of him, he'll need the help of all of us. Are you in?"

„What a question! I missed him like crazy, I'd do anything to see him up and around and driving us nuts again." Riley made it sound like a vow, the tears in her eyes underlining her words.

„He'll have all three of us mother henning him. We need to fatten him up, he's way to thin and so are you, by the way." Bozer remarked with a sideways glance to Mac.

Mac smiled. „I knew I could count on you." His eyes wandered to his partner and he shook his head. „This was way too close Jack. Don't ever do this to us again. We can't lose you."

Please review!


	7. Chapter 7

AN:

Thanks a lot for all the kind words. To the guest „A fan" I'd really love to send you a PM to thank you, but that isn't possible.

Chapter 7

Over the next two days Jacks conditon improved slowly. He was still in a lot of pain, but he managed to stay awake for longer periods of time. The nurse had removed his nasal canula which made it easier for Mac to believe that Jack would be ok. They still hadn't spoken about the role of Oversight or how Jack had gotten shot. This was too much to handle for Jack at the moment. The huge blood loss and the pain left him as weak as a new born kitten.

The whole situation was nagging on Mac. Matty had told him that Phil had disappeared and they weren't able to bring him in to interrogate. The bullets that Gabe and the docs had dug out of Jacks body had been fired from Phils weapon, but there was no proof of James involvement in this mess. The blond hadn't slept in days, just nodding off in the recliner beside Jacks bed. He was totally exhausted, but couldn't bring himself to leave Jacks bedside. The fear of Jack coding again while he was sleeping kept him from resting.

Mac had nodded off once again, when he woke up he found Doc Ward bending over Jack. Instantly alarmed Mac asked. „What is it? Is he ok?"

„Relax Mac, good ole Doc was just checking my wounds." Jack smiled.

Mac sank back into the chair and ran a hand through his hair. „Good, good. Just thought …"

„Stop worrying. I'm fine, well as fine as I can be while they're keeping me here." Jack tried to ease his friend. He nodded to the Doc who winked at him and left the room.

„What was that?" Mac wanted to know.

„Oh nothing. Just a little bargaining …" the Delta said but was interrupted by his partner.

„You know it's way to soon for you to go home Jack. I know it sucks to be cooped up here, but try to be patient a bit longer. It's never been this bad before. What about I give you a shave brother?" Mac changed the topic.

„That would be great Mac. It's starting to itch and it'll be some time before I can do it by myself." Jack shot the blond a grateful look.

„Well, then let's start. Breakfast should be coming in soon." Mac rose, got the utensils and had shaved Jack clean a short time later. The nurse walked in and brought two trays of breakfast. That was one of the advantages of being in Phoenix Medical than in a regular hospital. Mac could stay all the time and was provided with meals as well as a cot so sleep on. Although he hadn't made use of it yet.

„Ew, the orange juice used to taste better before." Mac complained but gulped it down anyway.

Jack answered with a devious smile. „Maybe they changed to a cheaper one, because you're drinking so much of it."

Mac got suspicious. „What have you done?"

Jack raised an eyebrow. „Me? I'm lying here in bed man, I can't do anything to you. But I might have suggested Doc Ward should slip a little sedative in your juice to …" He couldn't finish the sentence because the blond exploded and jumped up.

„You did what? Are you out of your mind? What if you need …" This time it was Jack who interrupted him.

„Stop it now Mac. A) I'm fine b) I can push the call button if I need anything c) you haven't slept in days and you're about to keel over. I could continue this until I reach „z", but I think you get my drift. Please just go to sleep buddy, you're starting to worry me and to be honest I don't have the energy for that right now."

Mac began to waver and his words became slurred. „u kno ˋm gettin bck to u fo thi Jck"

Jack laughed. „You should probably lie down, before I have to call the nurse to pick you up from the floor. That would be a little embarrassing, don't you think? Sweet dreams hoss, I'm getting some shut eye too."

Mac shot him a glare and stumbled over to the cot where he practically fell down on it. A few minutes later a nurse walked in and removed Macs boots and covered him with a light blanket. Jack watched smiling and closed his eyes in contentment.

When Mac woke up it was dark outside. He sat up and rubbed the sleep out of his eyes.

„Hey sleeping beauty, feeling better?" Jack asked with a broad smile.

„I can't believe you talked Doc Ward into knocking me out," Mac grumbled and shuffled over to the recliner, not bothering to put his boots back on. „How long was I out?" Mac indeed felt a lot better, but he wouldn't admit it.

Jacks face turned serious. „Almost 14 hours. You were about to collapse Mac. I couldn't lie here and just watch it happen."

Mac blushed but smiled. „Will you ever stop worrying about me?"

„Nope, not gonna happen. As long as I'm alive you'll have to put up with me." Jack looked down, he gulped and when he found Macs eyes again, his own were filled with tears. „That means if you want me still around? I know, I've broken my promise and I can't even begin to tell you how sorry I am."

Mac reached out his hand and grabbed Jacks good one. „It's ok Jack. I … I've read the letter …"

Jack sat up, groaning in pain but ignoring it and said angry. „Damn Bozer, he should only give it to you when I had kicked the bucket. You were not supposed to read it until … I'm sorry Mac …" The fight left Jack and he slumped back into the pillow exhausted.

The blond rubbed his arm. „Easy Jack, calm down. Don't blame Bozer. He gave the letter to me, when Doc Ward told us … he said you … you wouldn't survive this Jack," the memory was still so fresh on Macs mind he shuddered at the thought. „I didn't want to read it at first, because I didn't give up on you brother, but then I felt that there was something solid in the envelope and I got curious." Mac pulled the paperclip heart out of his pocket and held it up.

Jacks eyes widened and he said embarrassed. „You can throw it away Mac, it's just junk."

„No, it's not. It means a lot to me. I love you too, brother. And I'm glad, that I know the truth about James."

Jack raised an eyebrow when he heard how Mac adressed his father. Mac shrugged. „I can't call him Dad or father after what he had done to you. Why didn't you tell me?"

Jack rubbed his eyes. „I couldn't risk the safety of my family, you know now what he's capable of and I didn't want to throw you in between us. The situation was difficult enough for you, without me interfering. I just wanted you to know the truth if I didn't make it back. Not to blame James, but to let you know that I didn't leave you willingly. I simply had no other choice. I'm sorry Mac."

Mac nodded in understanding and quoted the letter. „How do you choose between family and family? You don't have anything to be sorry for Jack. It's me who needs to apologize. I'm ashamed of myself, of the way I treated you." Macs lowered his gaze and continued. „All the time I only thought about myself, I was a selfish bastard and I didn't even say goodbye to you properly. I … I just couldn't, it simply hurt to much and I thought you left, because you were sick and tired of watching out for me and being so clingy all the time."

Jack grabbed Macs chin gently and lifted it up. „I could never have enough of you and it's not because of a Wookie life debt. Just being around you and watch you doing your thing is a gift. And you're not clingy, we are family Mac. Pure and simple, and it's perfectly normal to want to be around people who love you and care about you." He chuckled. „Although I still haven't figured out, why you want to be around an old messed up Delta guy, with a Bruce Willis addiction and some anger issues. But I tell you what, I'm not one to look a gift horse in the mouth." Jack smiled affectionately.

Macs face lit up. „So we are good?"

„We couldn't be any better hoss." Jack sniffed. „Am I the one who smells a bit?"

„I think we both are, but I'm the lucky one who is able to use the shower." Mac stood up and grabbed his bag. „Do you mind, if I use this one? I don't want to run all the way to the locker room."

The Delta shook his head. „Go ahead Mac, as you said, I can't use it anyway." He yawned. „I think I'm gonna grab a few winks, while you're showering."

„Just give a shout, if you need anything." Mac said and disappeared in the bathroom. Jacks eyes had already closed and he was starting to drift off. He was startled awake when a pillow was pressed down onto his face. Jack managed to push it away, surprising his oponent, who thought Jack was fast asleep.

„You! Son of a …" was all Jack managed when his arm was pulled away and the pillow covered his face again. Jack fought with everything he had, but in his weakened state, with one arm strapped to his chest, he wasn't much of a combatant to his former team member. Phil pressed down until Jacks movements stopped. „I don't like unfinished business." He snarled and silenced the alarms the monitors emitted with one hand, the other still firmly pressed on the pillow.

Just in this moment Mac walked back in. „Sorry, but I forgot …." the blond started and took in the situation. A split second later he rushed forward and pulled Phil of his partner with all his strength. The TAC member had heard Mac and greated him with an elbow to his nose. Blood spurted down Macs face but he managed to drag his opponent away from Jack. Mac came up with a right hook followed by an upper cut, which was effectively blocked by the other guy. Phils fist connected with Macs left eye, which made him see stars for a moment. The TAC member immediately took advantage of it and delivered a few solid punches to Macs middle. He heard the audible crack of ribs breaking and the breath was driven out of his body. Another blow to the head sent Mac to his knees and darkness threatened to overwhelm him. Phil was only one step away from Jack and Mac knew he was the only chance of survival for his partner. He grabbed the panels from the CPR cart and pushed the power button. The panels weren't fully loaded, but the shock was enough to render Phil unconscious. Mac stumbled to the bed and pulled the pillow of Jacks face. His partner was pale and his vitals were really bad. He was about to push the call button, when door opened and Doc Ward and two nurses rushed in. Mac reached down and pulled Phil out of the way, he straightened and said. „He tried to suffocate Jack." Then the room tilted and Mac knew no more.

A pounding headache was the first thing Mac was aware of. He groaned and lifted his hand to stop the sledgehammer from beating into his skull. A gentle hand stopped him.

„Yo Mac easy, everything is ok. Can you open your eyes?" Bozers voice was full of concern.

Another groan and something that sounded like „Don't want" was the only reaction of the blond agent. Nausea was rising in his stomach and Mac wished nothing more than to fade into the pain free oblivion again. What was wrong with him? He had to know, so he pried his eyes open a slit, thankfully the room was pretty dark, so he opened them wider and took a deep breath. Oh shit! Pain flared up his side and he took short little gasps, which weren't helping the sick feeling he was fighting already.

„You've got broken ribs and a concussion Mac," Bozer informed him and Mac couldn't help himself and miss Jack more than ever. His calming presence and his ability to guide him through the assault of pain was unique. How he wished …wait … Jack was back. He got shot, but was doing better, so why was Mac lying in a hospital bed?

„What happened?" Mac didn't like Bozers serious expression one bit. „What do you remember?" His friend wanted to know. The blond agent shook his head and regretted it immediately.

„Nothing. I wasn't on a mission, was I? I remember sitting with Jack, but then … nothing." Mac was confused.

Bozer wrung his hands, something he only did when he was nervous or uncomfortable. „Phil came back and he tried to kill Jack. You stopped him with the CPR panels, but he worked you over pretty good."

The image of Phil standing over Jack with the pillow pressing down on his face jumped into Macs mind. Panic was taking Macs breath away and he choked out. „How's Jack? Is he ok?"

Bozers face mirrored Macs fear and he hesitated, searching for the right words. „He's unconscious and they don't know how bad it is until he wakes up."

„Oh god. I have to see him!" Mac threw the covers away and was out of bed in one swift move. The moment he straightened up, his body reminded him of his injuries. He vomitted on the floor and fell forward a moment later. Mac wasn't aware that Bozer caught him yelling for help.

Ups! Another cliffie, sorry. But I need to keep you on the edge of your seat a bit. Let me know what you think!


	8. Chapter 8

AN:

You guys are great. Thanks a lot for the continued support, for favouriting and following the story especially for leaving reviews. It really means a lot to me. Enjoy the next chapter.

Chapter 8

When Mac awoke the next time, Bozer was still sitting beside his bed. At least he knew immediately where he was and what had happened. The blond agent counted that as a win, despite the pounding headache that was still there. „How long?" Mac croaked out.

Bozer helped him to drink before he answered. „The first time you were out for four hours, this time about two."

„How's Jack?" Mac was afraid to hear the answer, but he had to know.

„About the same, he hasn't woken up. Riley is sitting with him." Bozer said and couldn't suppress a yawn. Mac noticed how tired he looked.

„You should go home Boze. You didn't have to sit with me. I'm ok." Mac stated.

Wilt chuckled. „Are you serious? You are anything but fine and Jack would have my hide, if there wasn't anybody watching over you and keeping you from jumping out of bed."

„Sorry, about that, but I really need to see Jack. Please help me buddy." Mac begged.

„I'll tell you what, I'm gonna get Doc Ward and we'll see if he let's you visit Jack, ok?" Bozer suggested.

Mac nodded. If anybody of the medical personell would let him out of bed to see Jack it would be Doc Ward.

The physician examined Mac and said. „You really need to rest Mac, but I'll let you see Jack for an hour, not longer and no walking, I don't want you to pass out and hit your head. You'll be going in a wheelchair. And this is not negotiable," he added with a stern look when Mac opened his mouth to disagree.

„I'll make sure he does as you said Doc," Bozer reassured the physician.

„Traitor," Mac hissed but inwardly was thankful that he didn't have to walk, he was not sure if he wouldn't have ended up on the floor. Bozer gently helped him out of bed and into the wheelchair and Mac had to close his eyes a moment and wait for the nausea to pass. When he opened his eyes he found a bowl in his lap. „We don't want you to ralph all over the place again," Bozer said with a grin when Mac flushed with embarrassment.

„I guess I underestimated the situation a bit," mumbled Mac and Bozer laughed. „Yeah, sure. Why should a simple concussion and broken ribs cause you to throw up and swoon, really surprising."

When they entered Jacks room, Mac gasped. His partner was awfully pale and he had a nasal canula once again. Riley stood up and went to sit on the other side of the bed, to give Mac access to Jacks good hand. „How is he?" asked Mac.

Riley gulped and answered. „He doesn't wake up, it's been over six hours and he hasn't even stirred. I'm scared Mac. We came so close to losing him over the last few days. Three times! And then when he finally kicked deaths ass, that son of a bitch Phil tries to kill him. It's just not fair! How much more will he have to endure. Look at him the last months were pure hell for him. Sure he did his job and brought Kovac down, but at what cost? He's such a good guy, with a heart as big as Texas. Why? Tell me why Mac?" Riley couldn't stop the tears from coming again and by her puffy eyes, it wasn't the first time that she cried that day. Mac felt once more helpless. He simply shook his head. He had no explanation. All the science in the world couldn't help him understand, why somebody could be so evil and try to kill Jack.

Bozer stepped forward and tugged on Rileys sleeve. „Let's take a break Ri." She nodded and left the room with him.

Mac sighed. „Come on Jack. I have a Deja vu right now. Sitting here again and waiting for you to wake up buddy is really getting to me. You know I'm not doing to well sitting still and doing nothing. Gabe told me, that you didn't trust Phil. Guess your gut feeling was right once again. I just hope they throw him into some dark site and lose the key to his cell."

Matty entered the room and heard his last words. „Oh you can count on that blondie. I've just spent hours interrogating him, but so far he's not said a word. I'm letting him stew a bit for now. How's our big guy doing?" Concern was coloring her words.

Mac sighed. „He hasn't woken up since .. since Phil tried to kill him. Why Matty? Why would he want Jack dead? Was it my … Oversight who ordered him to do it? Would my own father go this far and kill my best friend and his best agent? Why? Matty, I'm so confused. I … I don't know what to think anymore …" he trailed off.

Matty laid her hand on his shoulder and gave him a gentle squeeze. „Hey, it's gonna be ok Mac. Jack will wake up and we bring down anybody who is involved in this mess. I've talked to Oversight and so far he denied everything, but to be honest I don't believe him. Right now Phil is our only chance, to prove that your father is behind this. I asked nicely, but I won't hesitate to approach him more … directly if he keeps his mouth shut."

Mac nodded, not wanting to know what his boss had in mind. But she was right, if James was the one who pulled the strings he had to be brought down, no matter the costs. Mac normally wouldn't agree to harm anybody to get him talking, but this was Jack, who was lying here and Mac wouldn't let anybody involved in this get away scot free.

„How are you doing Mac?" Matty wanted to know.

„I'm fine."

His boss only raised an eyebrow. „Sure, I can see that on your eye that is almost swollen shut and you can't even sit upright, because of your broken ribs. Yup, definitely the picture of pure health."

Mac snorted „I will be fine, satisfied?"

„I tell you what, I won't be satisfied until this mess is cleared up and I can have a beer at your deck with everybody healthy and happy again. But I promise you Mac, we'll get there.

„I'm gonna take you up on that boss." Mac smiled softly.

„Take care of our cowboy. I'm gonna have myself a turncoat for breakfast." With that she left the room.

„Wow, Phil's in for one hell of a time, serves him right. Nobody pisses off Matty and get away with it." A groan came from the bed and Jack moved his head.

Mac leaned forward, forgetting about his broken ribs and hissed in pain, he needed a moment to breathe through the pain until it subsided and he could talk. „Jack, can you hear me?"

Jacks eyes opened and his confused expression told Mac that he wasn't really with him. He rubbed the Deltas arm and soothed. „You're in Phoenix Medical Jack. You were shot, but you're gonna be ok. It's ok buddy. It's me Mac. Do you know who I am?" The blond waited with baited breath.

Jack just looked at him and all the worst case scenarios were running through Macs mind at once. He took a deep breath to calm him down and hissed again. Damn ribs! But at least that got a reaction out of his friend. Jacks sight cleared up a bit and he croaked out. „Mac? …t happn?"

Macs heart sunk, but he tried to stay calm and he repeated slowly, because obviously Jacks brain had suffered some damage and he hadn't understood what Mac had told him a moment before. „You are in Medical, you were shot, but you're going to be ok." Mac let out a noise, that sounded suspiciously like a sob. The grip on his hand got stronger.

Jack cleared his throat. „I'm not deaf or an idiot. What happened to you?" He pointed at Macs face and picked at the hospital gown the blond was wearing.

Tears of relief were running down Macs face and he smiled widely. „Oh god Jack. I was so scared, I thought you suffered brain damage, you were out such a long time after Phil … oh man am I glad you're awake, you had us worried, Doc Ward couldn't tell if there was any damage until you woke up … I didn't think I would … I just hoped I stopped him in time, but wasn't sure …" Mac babbled.

„Stop! What. Happened. To. You?" Jack repeated slowly. „Man you sure it's not you who's got some damage up there?" He pointed at his temple clearly worried about his partner.

Mac calmed down and started. „What do you remember?"

Jack immediately began complaining. „Do you know how much I hate this damn question? If I got a Dollar for every time I was asked it, I could have a nice vacation." He grumbled.

Mac rolled his eyes, but the effect was dimmed because one eye was almost swollen shut.

Jack sighed and said. „I remember, being shot and I remember being in Medical talking with you, but not more. It was Phil who shot me Mac. I finally found Kovac, he started shooting at me, but I was able to get out of the way and I killed him. I was so relieved that it finally was over. Honestly I don't know for how long I would have been able to keep going. I turned around and Phil came in, I had already holstered my gun and Phil started shooting. I don't remember anything after that. But you mentioned him earlier, so I guess you've figured it out already."

„Actually it was Gabe who gave us a hint. He said that the bullet he dug out of your leg was not the caliber of Kovacs gun, it was the caliber of the guns, the Phoenix guys are using. He sent the bullets to the lab and Matty wanted to question Phil about the situation, but he was gone. But he came back last night and tried to suffocate you with your pillow while I was in the bathroom. I'm sorry Jack, I shouldn't have left you alone. I pulled him off you and we fought a bit, he knocked me down and I shocked him with the CPR panels."

Jack grinned. „Awesome dude. You saved my life buddy," he sobered. „I'm sorry, he hurt you. How bad is it? And don't you dare and bullshit me with _I'm fine _brother."

„Ok, ok. It's not that bad. Concussion and broken ribs." He answered honestly to get it over with.

„Not bad? You look like you've had a few rounds with Rocky. Not bad, my ass. It's time that I got back, you even manage to find trouble in a hospital room dude." Jack complained with a glint in his eye.

„Hey it was not my fault. If it weren't for you, sleeping your day away I wouldn't have to save your lazy butt." Mac teased and felt lighter than he had felt in a long time. God, how he had missed this banter with his friend.

„Yeah, good point. When can I get out of here? Didn't plan to hang around in Medical when I came back. All I need is a beer and a Die Hard marathon. Oh how I missed my man Bruce." Jack sighed.

Mac rolled his eyes. „Only Bruce? I'm hurt. But you're right. I missed watching Die Hard with you too. The others don't appreciate the relaxing vibes John McClane creates, especially after a tough mission. When they let you out of here, you're staying at my house."

Jack smiled. „I missed you way more than Bruce, Mac. It was … a hard time." He closed his eyes before he continued and Mac felt once more guilty for treating Jack so badly. „I can stay at my own place, you don't have to play nurse. Although it would be great if you'd come over from time to time."

„Jack be reasonable, there's no way you'll be walking on that leg anytime soon and you won't be able to use crutches with that broken collarbone. You'll be bound to a wheelchair for a few weeks at least, so your apartment with all the stairs is out of question. And to be honest, I missed you so much, I just want to have you around. Looks like I'm on medical leave for a few weeks as well, so let's make the best of it and enjoy the time."

Jack grinned like a cheshire cat and held out a fist which Mac immediately bumped with a broad smile. The blond once more realized how close he came to never see that smile again. He vowed to find a real special gift for Jack to show him, how much he meant to him.

Please review!


	9. Chapter 9

AN:

Sorry guys, I planned on only one more chapter to wrap this up, but it turns out to be two instead. I just hope you aren't sick and tired of it dragging along ;-)

Thanks for all the kind words, this is what keeps me going.

Chapter 9

Mac had managed to talk Doc Ward into moving his bed into Jacks room. It was pretty cramped, but nobody seemed to mind. Jack was feeling better every day. And finally a week after he was brought in, he was allowed to go home with a long list of don'ts and dos, which Mac snatched right out of his hand to study. Jack made an annoyed sound and Mac commented. „What? Do you honestly think I trust you with this? You'd make sure this piece of paper would disappear and you would do as you please. No way, buddy!"

„You are one to talk hoss! Hey Doc where are the instructions for Mac?" Jack looked to Doc Ward for support. The physician shrugged with a smile. „Concussion and broken ribs. I think you know the drill. I'm gonna pay you a visit tomorrow to see how you are doing."

Bozer walked in with two go bags in hand. „As Mac is a little incapacitated, the honor of helping you get dressed falls to me."

„I'm not incapacitated! Just a little sore." Mac pouted.

„Yeah, that's why you almost made a faceplant, while you were picking up my pen." Jack teased and continued. „Thanks for the help Boze, I can't wait to wear real clothes again."

They were about to leave when Riley entered the room and greeted Jack with a hug. That seemed to be a new routine for her. One that Jack clearly didn't mind, judging by the broad smile on his face.

She stepped back and said. „Matty wants to see you two in the war room before you leave."

„She can't wait to send us out on a mission again," joked Mac and Jack added. „Yeah, the only show we could run, would be undercover in an hospital."

„Maybe she just wants to kick your ass for worrying us so much." Riley answered and started to push Jacks wheelchair out of the room.

The moment the two agents entered the war room and saw the expression on Mattys face their cheerful mood vanished. Bozer and Riley stood at the doorway hesitantly. Matty offered. „You both can stay, if it is ok for Mac and Jack." Both nodded their agreement, whatever it was that Matty wanted to tell them was no secret to the rest of their family.

„What is it Matty?" Mac was the first to ask.

„Sit down blondie," she ordered and Mac complied with an uneasy feeling.

Matty took a moment before she started. „Phil finally spilled the beans, and no I didn't torture him. I have other ways." She added as she saw Macs expression. Jack said. „Well, I wouldn't have minded if he lost a fingernail or two." Matty nodded, because she silently agreed, while Mac paled a little at the gruesome image that appeared in his mind.

Matty continued. „He's a merc. He simply did it for the money. Phil will be charged for attempted murder. That leads us to his employer." Her gaze softened and her voice was full of compassion, when she said. „I'm sorry Mac, but our suspicion proved to be right. It was your father, who was behind this." She stopped and waited for the words to sink in, before she continued. „Phil recorded a conversation between him and James, where Oversight ordered him to kill Jack in case he didn't die on that mission by the hands of Kovac or his men. He wanted to make sure Jack didn't return to us."

Jack wasn't surprised, but still shocked that the truth was finally out. He reached over and laid his hand lightly on Macs arm, but the blond didn't seem to notice it.

Attempted murder. His father the instigator. Macs mind went blank. Usually there were thousand things running through his head at the same time. Not now. He just felt empty. A familiar feeling born decades ago, when he was abandoned by his father. But the void that filled him now was somehow different. It was infinite, dark, not illuminated by a glimmer of hope as before. An emptiness that felt like a grave. Silent, cold, a dark void with no signs of life. Mac didn't know what to feel, what to think. Was this real? His father a cold blooded murderer? Did he inherit that trait? He thought back to the fight in Jacks room. He was ready to kill Phil, no question about it. So he was no better than his old man, wasn't he? How could he look his team mates in the eyes ever again, how could he look Jack in the eyes ever again, after what his own father had done to the Delta, to all of them. They must hate him for that. Mac felt a wave of guilt wash over him. There was pressure on his shoulders and a voice. The voice he feared and longed to hear at the same time. A hand that gently turned his face. Jacks lips were moving and by the concerned look on his face, he had tried to get Macs attention for some time. Matty was standing right in front of him, when had she moved forward? He tried to focus on Jacks voice and slowly his brain was able to transfer the sound into words, he understood.

„Mac, please talk to me brother. I'm getting worried here. Are you with me Mac?" A sqeeze on his shoulder underlined the words and broke the rigor Mac had fallen into. Slowly he nodded.

„Yeah, yeah I'm fine," even to his own ears it sounded wrong, so he wasn't surprised when Jack shook his head.

„Surely not, hoss. None of this, I repeat, NONE of this is your fault. I'm really, really sorry bud, that it went down this way. I would have done everything in my power to prevent this from happening to you. I'm so sorry, it all happened because of me."

Mac only stared at Jack blankly. He had heard Jacks words, but it was as if his brain was offline and he had difficulties to make sense of what was said. The emptiness was swept away by an avalanche of thoughts, feelings and strangely mathematical calculations of the probabilty of passing on malice. His breath hitched and everything became blurry. A swirl of images and emotions to fast to follow and to overwhelming to escape.

Jack pulled Mac into a hug as far as his limited mobility allowed and ignored the pain that shot through his abdomen right into his bad shoulder. Jacks voice was deep and soothing. „I need you to breathe with me bud. Nice and slow. In and out. Focus on my voice. In and out." And somehow it worked. Mac started to come back into the room and Jack took it a step further. „Look me in the eyes hoss. Keep breathing and try to relax. Are you with me bro?" The coaching Jack did was so familiar to Mac after hearing it so many times before, a warm feeling started to spread in his body. Mac knew he didn't deserve it, but he couldn't help it and hang on to Jack with all his strength. The room came into focus beside Jacks face and Mac registered his boss and his friends. He blushed, embarrassed that he had lost his shit. He looked back into Jacks eyes and only saw love mixed with worry. „You're doing good buddy. Do you feel better?"

Mac nodded and a tiny smile appeared on his face, it didn't reach his eyes, but it was all he managed. „Yeah, thanks Jack. Sorry, for losing it. We kinda knew it, but it was a bit of a shock nevertheless. What is going to happen? Is he …" The blond stopped mid sentence, when he saw the TAC team outside the war room. Gabe was leading it and he had a strong grip on a handcuffed James MacGyver. The medic nodded to Jack who returned the gesture before turning his focus back on his partner. Mac sat rigid with an unreadable expression on his face. Jacks glance wandered to Oversight who shot them all cold glares. A moment later the group was gone and Jack tightened his grip around Macs shoulders again. Trying to ground his friend and keeping him from retreating into his mind once more. He was pleasantly surprised to find Mac watching him. „It's ok Jack. I'm good now. I just want to go home, I'm so tired."

Jack looked at Matty who smiled affectionately. „I have one of the vans waiting for you, it's easier for you because you can ride in your wheelchair Jack. Bozer, Riley you're on nurse duty for the two of them." She added with a wink. „I have a TAC team on stand by if they give you any trouble."

Jack pushed his chair forward with his good arm and extended it to pull his boss into a hug. „Thank you so much Mathilda for having our backs all the time. You are special and I want you to know, that we'll have your back as well. No matter what happens, you can count on us."

Matty punched Jack playfully on his good arm. „You're a softy Dalton. Go home and save me a beer, will you?" She was back in boss mode, but Jack hadn't missed the glitter of tears, that was in her eyes for a moment.

„You bet I am and don't worry. I promise to be a good patient. For once I don't mind being a bit motherhenned by my kids. I simply missed them too much. And Bozers cooking. Steaks, burgers …"

The Delta was interrupted by Bozer. „Not for you big guy. Doc Ward gave me a diet plan for you. It will take a while for your body to adjust without a gallbladder, so if you don't want to shit yourself I suggest you eat what I put in front of you."

Jack groaned and looked to his friends for support, but Mac just grinned and Riley found the floor pretty interesting. „Some friends you are, diet my ass."

The ride home was exhausting for Jack. His weakened body wasn't used to being upright for such a long time. Mattys revelation and the worry about Mac had taken a toll on him as well. As much as he wanted to be there for Mac, he simply hadn't the energy right now, so he didn't complain when Bozer brought him right to the guest room and helped him getting settled into the bed. After Wilt had left Riley entered the room and placed Jacks phone on the nightstand. „How are you doing?" She wanted to know, still concerned by his haggard appearance. The shaking hand he laid on her arm doing nothing to erase her worry. „So tired, damn I hate it to feel so weak. Mac needs me to be there for him." Deep lines of pain were embedded around his eyes. Riley took the meds out of the bag she brought with her. She shook out two different pills and held it out for Jack to take. The Delta swallowed them and chased them down with water. „We take care of Mac, don't worry Jack. You need to focus on yourself now to get better. We almost lost you and I don't want to see you getting worse, because you worry yourself sick about him. I know you two still have a lot to talk about, but you have time Jack. Give it a few days until both of you feel better. Now go to sleep big guy. I love you." Riley leaned forward and kissed his cheek and let her head rest against his forehead for a moment until she felt him visibly relax. „I'm so proud of you Ri. You are an amazing woman." The Delta whispered and slipped into a deep sleep. Riley watched him for a few minutes and left the room.

A tortured scream woke Jack rudely and it took him a moment to shake off the cobwebs. Mac! His partner clearly had a nightmare and needed him. Jack threw off the covers and fought his way in a sitting position. Pain shooting through his body as the drugs had clearly worn off by now. Sweat coating his forehead due to the exertion his body wasn't prepared for. Jack ignored it all and pulled the wheelchair to the side of the bed. The screams from Macs bedroom had lessened to whimpers. Jack could hear mumbled words probably from Bozer, but he needed to get to Mac nevertheless. Moving from the bed to the wheelchair with only one arm would be tricky, but somehow he would manage. After adjusting the chair and fastening the brakes Jack took a deep breath and pushed with his good arm and leg up. For a moment he thought he would make it, but that was before a wave of dizziness washed over him and he lost his balance and landed hard on the floor. The Delta couldn't suppress a yelp of pain and he felt his grip on consciousness slip away. Suddenly a gentle hand was on his face and Jack could make out Rileys voice. „Jack, oh my god. Bozer! I need you in here."

„I'm good, just give me a minute." Jack mumbled and was glad when his vision cleared up and he tried to push himself up with his good arm. Riley stopped him. „Stay down Jack."

Bozer appeared in the doorframe. „What the hell … Jack! Are you trying to kill yourself? What are you doing? Trying to break the rest of your bones?" He kneeled down and everyone could tell that he was more worried than annoyed.

„I wanted to go to Mac. He had a nightmare. Is he ok?" Jack explained and looked up, when he heard his partner from the door.

„I am now. Sorry for waking you up and causing you from falling out of bed." Mac didn't dare to look his friend in the eyes, he felt guilty. Jack was badly injured and he interrupted his sleep and caused him more pain, because he couldn't get a grip on his feelings. The blond turned around and left the room going to sit on the deck for the rest of the night. He didn't dare go back to sleep and cause more ruckus with another nightmare.

„Mac! Wait buddy, this isn't …" but the blond had already left the room, leaving Jack feeling helpless and at the same time annoyed about his bodys weakness.

Together Bozer and Riley helped Jack back into bed and Riley gave Jack another round of meds, which Jack refused at first, until Bozer promised to go and look after Mac, only then did Jack give in.

Dawn was still an hour away, but Wilt couldn't bring Mac to go back to bed or talk about his nightmare. So he made at least sure Mac was as comfortable as possible and brought him a blanket and a pillow, which the blond accepted gratefully.

Please let me know what you think!


	10. Chapter 10

AN:

So, this is the last chapter. I have been thinking about this story for so long, I am relieved I've got it off my chest finally. Thanks a lot for all the kind words, I hope I didn't fail sending replys to anybody who left a review. I also appreciate favouring and following the story and me.

Chapter 10

Mac tried to put up a brave front, when they sat together at breakfast a few hours later. He joked along with Riley and Bozer, but avoided to look at Jack. The Delta wasn't in the best mood. He glared at the yoghurt and the banana, that was placed in front of him and grumbled when Riley hit him on the fingers because he tried to snatch a piece of bacon from her plate.

„I'm no monkey. I've eaten so many bananas the last days I'm already tempted to climb into a tree." Jack shot a sideways glance to Mac, who smiled dutyfully but didn't acknowledge him otherwise.

„If you are a good boy, you're getting chicken for dinner Jack." Bozer promised and placed the yoghurt, the Delta had shoved aside, in front of him again.

Jack picked up a spoon and started eating, grumbling. „Maybe I'm starting to look like a supermodel with all the supermodel food."

This time Mac couldn't contain a burst of laughter and Jack and the others joined him happily. Jack would gladly eat bananas and yoghurt for the rest of his days if it meant to make his brother smile.

„I missed your laugh buddy." Bang! Wrong thing to say, because Mac sobered and rose from the table. „I think I'm going to lie down for a while."

„That went well," Jack sighed and shoved his breakfast away. Bozer opened his mouth, but was stopped by one look from Jack and kept silent. The Delta tried to maneuver the wheelchair away from the table, but with one arm, that was almost impossible. Riley stood up and pushed him into the living room, where he picked up the remote and turned on the TV.

Bozer and Riley cleared the table and cleaned up the kitchen, before taking another cup of coffee and settling out on the deck.

Bozer sighed. „Do you have any idea how to help them?"

Riley shook her head. „Honestly I have no idea, what exactly the problem is."

„As far as I know Mac, he is probably feeling guilty. He always does, but he won't listen to reason. And losing his Dad this way, it's horrible. I can't even begin to imagine how he must feel."

Riley agreed. „You're probably right. But Jack is holding something back as well."

This surprised Bozer. „I didn't notice, but you know him better than me. What do you think it is?"

The hacker shrugged. „I don't know, but he's not as easygoing as he was before towards Mac. It's as if he is walking on egg shells. Maybe because they were seperated for such a long time. I'm afraid it's up to them to work it out."

„Yeah and it totally sucks to watch and not be able to help them." Bozer sighed. „I'm just glad I don't have to deal with our mules alone. Thank you for your help Riles."

„Your welcome Bozer. As difficult as the situation is, I'm just happy that we are all together again. Everything is gonna be fine, you'll see." Riley sounded more upbeat than she felt. She was afraid, that Oversight had broken Mac and she was worried about Jack as well.

Bozer held out his cup „To our family." Riley smiled and returned the gesture.

The days and nights were difficult ones for all of them. Not only Mac, Jack was fighting his demons in his nightmares too, so Bozer and Riley had their work cut out with them. Due to the interrupted nights they often slept during the day.

Physically both were doing better, but Jack was still bound to his wheelchair, getting more and more frustrated each day. He wanted nothing more to return to his own apartment, where he could avoid the accusing looks from Mac, at least that was what he assumed they were. Jack felt guilty for being responsible for the arrest of Macs Dad. It wasn't the case, that he was sorry for James. No, not at all, but he hated what it had done to Mac. Jack was the one who pushed his partner to keep searching for his father, something he really regretted in hindsight. After Mac came back from Nigeria it seemed that their relationship was slowly making progress and Jack was happy for Mac, he really was, despite his dislike for the older MacGyver. The Delta tried not to show it and supported his partner with encouraging words. But then came the mess with their seperate assignments, which resulted in his bad concussion. Mac distanced himself from his father again, being unsure about himself and struggling with his abandonement issues once again. And now his Dad was locked away in a prison cell somewhere for a long time, all because of Jack. Mac looked like a lost puppy and in some way he actually was and it broke Jacks heart. He tried to talk to his partner, but Mac would have none of it. The situation was getting unbearable.

Mac spent most of the time in his room. His head and ribs were feeling better, but he was still far from being well enough to go to work again. At least he was able to tinker with all the little projects strewn all over the workbench in his room. That gave him a good excuse to avoid Jack. His partner was still in a lot of pain and every wince or sound of pain made Mac flinch, reminding him that it was his own father who was responsible for this. First being the cause for Jacks concussion, which still caused him migraines. Mac remembered the day before with a shudder, when Jack was assaulted with a migraine attack, that forced him to stay in bed the whole day. Second, the _accident_ from Jacks sister and third the order to murder him. How could he look Jack in the eyes ever again? His partner must hate him and he deserved it. Mac had still tried to build a relationship with his father a while after the concussion incident and during the time Jack was gone. How could he have not seen it, that it was Oversights plan all along to get rid of Jack? He was pretty intelligent, how could he have been so stupid? Well, it was over now, finally. No more lies, no more deceptions, no more pretending. And if Mac was honest he was relieved. He simply couldn't trust his father and as Jack had once said trust was the foundation of a family. Mac had lost his Dad for good, he was dead to him. It was hard, but Mac had accepted it, but he had lost Jack too and that was the fact that was killing him. The blond knew he didn't deserve Jacks friendship anymore, but he still craved for his partner more than anything else.

It was late, past midnight and Mac knew he wouldn't be able to sleep after turning around in his bed for over an hour. He threw back the covers with an annoyed huff and decided to head out on the deck. The blond grabbed a bottle of water from the fridge, not bothering to switch on the light. He slowly climbed the stairs to the deck and stepped forward to lean on the railing. The cool night air made him shiver and he was startled by a rough voice. „You want a piece of my blanket?"

Mac turned around and saw Jack sitting in the corner of the deck in his wheelchair, a warm blanket wrapped around him. „I'm sorry. I didn't know you were out here. I … I'm going back in …"

„You know, you can stop running from me. I'm leaving your house tomorrow and then you don't have to look at me anymore." Jack didn't sound angry, he sounded … defeated.

„No Jack, you don't need to go … you can't be alone … how will you manage …" The thought of Jack leaving made him stumble over the words.

„I talked to Matty, a nurse from Phoenix will stay with me until I'm able to take care of myself again. I know you can't stand to see me and I don't blame you for it brother. I'm the reason your old man is in prison, but I want you to know how sorry I am. I'll join another agency when I'm healthy, so you don't have to work with me again. Desi will have your back, I've already talked to her. I …" Jack gulped his eyes filling up. „I just hope you can forgive me one day." The last words came out choked, as he lost the fight with his tears.

Mac came over to him and sat down beside his friend. „No Jack! You got it all wrong. I don't blame you for what happened, how could I? Jack, it was _my_ father who caused you and your sister so much hurt and sorrow. You … you almost died, you're still in so much pain and will be for some time to come. You must hate me Jack, if it wasn't for me Oversight wouldn't have hurt Sally and you so badly. I'm so sorry, I wish I could undo it. I would give anything to do it." Macs voice was rough with emotion. He hesitantly reached out a hand and touched Jacks arm and God how he had missed the contact with his brother.

„But … but you lost him because of me," stammered Jack, hope flickering in his eyes.

„A loss," Mac laughed a short humorless laugh. „I feel bad for saying it, but it's a relief somehow."

Jack looked at him confused and Mac explained. „A son should love his father, should trust him, shouldn't doubt him. Well, I tried. I really did. I wanted a fresh start with him, when I came back from Nigeria. I closed my eyes and ignored the nagging feeling, that it wasn't how it was supposed to be between us." Macs blue eyes searched for Jacks brown ones before he continued. „Even after your concussion I tried to find a common base for us, but deep down he still was a stranger to me who I couldn't trust. I felt obliged to love him because he is my father and because my Mum loved him, but as much as I tried I simply couldn't. And now," he shrugged „I am relieved, that I don't have to try anymore. I feel free finally. I'm sad about it and I feel guilty, because no son should feel this way about his father, but that's the way it is."

Jack pulled Mac in for a hug. „Oh hoss, if I had known how it would go, I never would have pushed you to keep searching for him. What a mess huh! You are not to blame for anything that happened and I could never hate you, silly. You have to stop feeling responsible for all the bad shit that happens in the world. But honestly, I'm glad that you found your peace." He smiled and released his partner. „You can't always solve a problem with your brain hoss, as big as it might be."

Mac smiled. „You said it in your letter Jack. I should have listened to my gut. Maybe nothing of this would have happened, but now it's too late. I …"

„Stop it right there, did you listen to anything I just said? And there you go again, feeling guilty and getting lost in that big noggin. This stops now. We're good brother. No more blaming, no more feeling guilty. Accepting is the course you will follow now. Or do I have to kick your butt to make you understand?"

Mac laughed, the first real laugh in a long time. „You couldn't kick the butt of a mouse right now big guy, but I get your drift. I try, I promise Jack. Thank you. So, we're really good?"

„We've never been better hoss. I missed you so much, these last days." Jack admitted and Mac nodded. „Me too." He shuddered. „It's really cold out here. Do you think we'll manage to get you inside, if I help you? I think I could do with a little bit of John McClane right now."

„Man you have some great ideas, buddy. Actually my leg is able to hold a little weight already. If you let me lean on you, I think we're good."

After some stumbling, pulling and gasping in pain they managed to reach the couch, where they gratefully sank down. Mac started the movie and brought two beers, winking „I won't rat on you, if you promise not to rat on me."

„Deal," Jack grinned and took a pull. „Man, I tell you what. The world is right again. Beer, Bruce and my best buddy."

Mac pouted. „What? Beer and Bruce are coming before me? I'm hurt, maybe letting that nurse taking care of you wasn't such a bad idea. I've heard Matty recruited a real dragon this time."

„Oh no Mac. I've changed my mind, I think I'm gonna extend my stay at Mac casa for a bit longer."

„As long as you want brother." They got comfortable, but 10 minutes into the film they were both fast asleep.

Riley walked into the living room the next morning and called out to Bozer, who was already preparing breakfast.

They watched their friends. Mac was resting against Jacks good side and the Delta had an arm protectively wrapped around the blond. They both were snoring slightly.

„About time." Bozer commented and Riley took a picture.

A few days later Jack was sitting on the deck, enjoying his new freedom. He was able to walk with the aid of a cane and didn't need the wheelchair anymore. His arm was still in a sling, but he was getting some movement back.

Jack was dozing in one of the chairs and felt someone sitting down beside him.

„Stop playing possum Jack. I've got a gift for you." Mac put something in his lap and Jack was getting curious. „For me?"

Mac nodded. „Open it!"

Jack slowly opened the box and was surprised to find a gun in it. But it was not a random gun. It was a Beretta 92F with modifications. It had an extended magazine release and slide release. Jack immediately recognized the gun.

„Dude! You got me a replica of John McClanes gun. This is so cool." He carefully took the gun out of the box and looked at it with awe.

„Not a replica, Jack. It's the original gun, that Bruce has used in the movie." Mac pointed to the note, that was lying in the box. „There's something else for you."

„What? No way! How did you get it? I can't believe it." Jack was so excited Mac couldn't contain a laughter. Jack took the note and unfolded and read it. He looked up with tears in his eyes.

„That's … I have no words … thank you Mac."

Jack read the words aloud. „From the TV badass John McClane to the real badass Jack Dalton. Thank you for your service. Keep your head down. Bruce"

„This is too much. I don't deserve it Mac," Jack was still fighting with his emotions while caressing the gun in his lap.

„You deserve it and so much more. Thank you for being my friend and for sticking with me." Mac smiled.

„Your welcome buddy. How did you manage to get your hands on this?" Jack asked curiously.

„Well, there was this mission, where we had to save the ass of this Hollywood guy …"

END

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